Friday, April 13, 2012

Just knock me in the head with a hammer

          Sometimes I am stubborn and it takes a knock to the head with a hammer to learn my lesson. Well, lesson learned. I have had such a stupid week. I left my house at 6:15 am Monday morning , worked the before school program, subbed all day for 5th grade, worked the after school program, grabbed some food, raced to the ballfield for Ben's baseball game and walked back into my house at 9:15 pm. At that point I still had to shower and do a few things before sleep. Bed at 11pm . I didn't work the morning shift on Tuesday but still subbed all day again and worked after school til 5:45. Home for supper and laundry that I was getting behind on.  Wednesday morning ,after dropping the kids off. grocery store , home to unload, more laundry, precooked supper, and back to after school program . I was too tired to function by the time I got home so I skipped church. Worked the morning shift Thursday morning, subbed half a day , had just enough time to do yet more laundry and eat before it was time to be back for after school. The evening brought another baseball game meaning another late night. Another morning shift this morning and snack shopping for the after school program after, home to do yet more laundry and scarf down lunch and now it is almost time to go back for evening shift til probably 6:15.
     What have I learned from this week? I can't so it. My body is suffering. I hurt from head to toe. I am exhausted and ill. My house is a mess. We have sat down to eat supper as a family only once this week. My husband started his new job this week and gets off earlier daily than he ever has but I have seen him less. It has been harder and harder to wake my kids as the week has worn on. my dogs have spent way too much time locked up . Its just not fair to any of us .I have tried to be superwoman and have failed miserably.
     There have been times when I have looked at our finances and thought "I would like to have a full time job to contribute more to our monthly bottom line. " Every time I get into that frame of mind,  I look for weeks or months for a job. I guess God knows better than I. I never find anything and I have finally come to the conclusion after this week that God is just not allowing me to even try to do that to myself. Fact is, after working 36 hours in just 4 days, I have nothing left to give when I get home. I don't care if we eat. I wash the clothes, dry the clothes, fold the clothes but do not have the energy to put them up so we live out of laundry baskets. I don't care if homework is done. I don't care if dishes aree clean.I just don't care if anything gets done. I don't spend time with my kids. I don't get quality time with my husband and intimacy is out of the question because I am just too stinking tired. Its just not worth it !
     I get it God , I get it. I am better as a full time mommy and wife with at the least some subbing thrown in or at most a part time position somewhere. My kids and husband deserve me to be at my best so that is what I will do and I will do that well. Everything else will fall into place just as it should.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

God's paint brush

     I was driving home from the grocery store this afternoon and noticed how brilliant blue the sky is today, not a cloud could I find. I immediately thought about all the colors God used to make the earth. I imagined HIM with a paint brush and a palette with thousands of colors to choose from. This time of the year makes great use of all the rainbow. Against the backdrop of the brilliant blue sky lies the fresh new greens of grass and trees, but none of them the same shade. In his infinite wisdom , HE made every different kind of leaf a varying shade , every one unique. Every where I looked there were splashes of color to break up the greens.
     The shades of the flowers are too inumerable to count. Dogwoods portray soft white and pinks.Azaleas bloom in whites, reds, pinks, and light purple. Sunny yellows, bright oranges, pinks, reds, and pale purples make up the tulips.Pansies are painted deep purples, yellows, blues, and burgundy. The list goes on and on.
     I am continually in awe of the world God created for us to enjoy. How much must HE love us to throw on a smock and pick up the paint brush and spend endless time dipping it into color after color creating an everchanging breathtaking masterpiece for our daily pleasure.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Losing the battle

     There are many things that I love about Spring. I love the beautiful things like blooming trees and colorful flowers. I love the warmth as long as it isn't stupid hot, heat belongs to summer. I love Cadbury mini eggs and I can only find them around Easter which coincidentally occurs in Spring. I love Spring break , sleeping late and having all day everyday with my children to play. I am not a Spring hater BUT, there are things about this time of the year that I could do without.
     Cara and I both have seasonal allergies and from now til summer we are both miserable. Mine are so far controlled by over the counter meds and up til now Cara's has been too. This allergy season seems to be particularly brutal and Cara has just been put on Singulair. Those beautiful trees and flowers come at a price , literally and figuratively.
     Every Spring we battle ants. It doesn't matter how dilligent I am about wiping counters, sweeping and mopping, and not leaving food out, those stinking little pests invade my home and drive me loony. Last year I broke down and paid for an exterminator only to find that it made the matter worse instead of better. I have tried everything from store bought baits to natural stuff to no avail.I always breakdown and end up just spraying the heck out of them and killing as many as I can a couple of times a day. No matter what I do, I am losing the battle.
     Earlier this week we had a more disturbing battle . One night after everything was quiet Eric and I heard something in the closet.Upon investigation Eric found that something had been into the dog food. Suspecting a mouse I set out a glue trap baited with dog food the next night.Around midnight I awoke to some serious noise coming from the closet. I woke Eric up so he could put the little critter out of his misery. This is where it gets exciting... Eric opens the closet and instructs me to find a BB gun . Its not a simple little mouse. Its a rat ! Its a rat and his back end is glued to the trap but his front end isn't so he is just flopping around trying to get off the trap. I bring him a gun and flashlight and must run back downstairs to relieve my bladder. On my way back up the steps I pause when I hear the horrendous squealing that this creature is emitting everytime Eric pumps a BB into his body. Eric leaves his post at the closet door to tell me to bring him a set of grabbers only to walk back and find that the rat has escaped ! Eric decides that he thinks that he might know where this nasty creature is coming in at. So for the next 30 to 45 minutes I stand outside in my pjs holding a flashlight while Eric shovels dirt to fill in holes outside the back door.
     This rat didn't run away unscathed. He left plenty of DNA on the glue trap as well as having a belly full of BBs. I bought some more effecient traps and we now have two traps laying in my closet floor , both of which have been left untouched for the last two nights. Either the injured rat ran off only to die or he had such a harrowing experience that he decided that dog food just isn't worth it. There is an interesting side story...we have become very observant of the space outside that Eric was working on. Yesterday Eric spotted a black snake hanging out up against the house. I am willing to leave him be as long as he stays out of my house. He wiggles his way in and he will be a very dead snake.
     Between the allergies and the unwelcome critters , Spring is not my favorite time of the year .