Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The stupid man and the dishwasher

     I recently sat down with some women and had a meal. I don't know these women very well.We just happened to be in the same place at the same time. One of them starts a new topic by saying "I wish you could have seen how (insert husband's name) loaded the dishwasher this weekend. He's so incredibly stupid." And so the husband bashing began . His crime wasn't infidelity or wife beating. His crime? He didn't load the dishwasher to her standards. SERIOUSLY? The sad part was that for the rest of the meal these women verbally tore apart their husbands like they were a piece of paper.
     My husband is not perfect, no where close. I have been married for almost 17 years and there have been times when I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the breath out of him. Has he done stupid things? You bethcha. Have I ever confided in a friend about those things? Yep ! What I don't so is drag him through the proverbial mud. I am not perfect and I don't expect him to be. EVERYONE makes mistakes. EVERYONE makes bad choices on occasion. NO marriage is rainbows and unicorns all the time. Life is NOT a fairy tale. We ALL do stupid stupid things at times. We ALL get hurt sooner or later and we ALL hurt someone we love sooner or later.We are ALL human, imperfect beings and I don't understand how some people can be so stinkin mean .
     I am beginning to think that I am an oddity. I believe in vows, the whole through good AND bad, in sickness AND health, til death do us part stuff. I believe in happy endings. I believe in being HAPPILY married not just married.And most importantly I believe that if you aren't happy you need to figure out how to fix it. If it can't be fixed, and sometimes it can't, then get out but as a last resort, not the first option.
     So here's a thought...instead of tearing your husband down in public, build him up at home. Instead of disrespecting him to everyone who will listen, talk to him privately. Instead of judging every little stupid thing he does, step back and judge your own heart. Instead of focusing on what he does wrong, focus on what he does right. Or how about just being overjoyed that your husband would even load the dishwasher?
     Rant over...carry on.