Wait and see

     My world was turned upside down on Saturday and has yet to flip back over. At 1:32 pm my brother called me to tell me he was at Mom's house and she was being loaded into an ambulance . She was very sick and having chest pain. Once loaded up , her info was electronically sent to Hugh Chatham who ordered them to take her straight to Forsyth because she was having a heart attack. Upon arrival she was taken straight to the cath lab and had a stent put into her coronary artery which was 100% blocked. She had a major heart attack and there was massive damage done to the right side of her heart. It was after 4pm before we could see her. She was alert and talking. They had put in a temporary pacemaker and she was ordered not to move her right leg or raise her head.
     She remained stable for the rest of the evening and we were told we could leave if we wanted since they will not allow overnight stays. Chris was going to stay for awhile so I left and drove home telling him to call me if anything changed. I was home for a grand total of about 30 minutes before my cell phone rang and my brother said to come back because she had just coded. Fluid had built up around her heart and put enough pressure on it to make it stop.Mom woke up to a woman sitting on top of her giving her CPR compressions and a needle sticking out of her chest to draw off fluid. She was side awake as they cut her and inserted a chest tube . I stayed til 1 am and then made my way home for the second time that day .
     She had another episode early Sunday morning where her heart rate dropped dangerously low but meds shot into the IV immediately brought it back up. She has been stable for more than 24 hours now which is a very positive thing. We were told not to get too comfortable. She still isn't out of the woods quite yet . When there has been this much damage done to the heart its just a wait and see kind of thing. Having said that, the Dr said this morning that considering the damage done that she was doing remarkably well to have kept a good blood pressure and heart rate with minimum meds. They removed the pacemaker this morning and when I left this afternoon she was sitting up and eating a little lunch.Up til 1:30 today she had not been allowed to even lift her head so she is way more comfortable now that she can move a little more.
     Driving back and forth to Winston and sitting for hours in a hospital is taking its toll but I don't feel comfortable leaving her for long periods of time just yet. If I could , I would be there 24/7 . This is the woman who gave birth to me and has taken care of me for my whole life and now I just want to take care of her as much as I possibly can.If she needs someone to spoon ice chips into her mouth or apply chapstick to parched lips then I want to be there to do it. I am thanking God for letting her stay with us and for this precious time with her. I am praying that God lets us her stay with us for a long time to come but I trust him if that is not in his plan. I love this woman I call mama and can only hope and pray that this was just God's way of slowing her down and forcing her to take better care of herself than she has in the past. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.