Thursday, November 24, 2011


     So I have participated in the thankful challenge to post something everyday in November up til Thanksgiving that I am thankful for. It has been quite simple . I haven't had a hard time coming up with things. My problem is that I have so many things to be thankful for that I had a hard time choosing what to put everyday. I give thanks EVERYDAY of every week of every year for what I have , material or otherwise . God has always supplied my needs and sometimes he even sees fit to give me what I want so I am more than blessed. 
     This last half of the year has been challenging and emotionally draining for me and yet even in those moments when I was struggling I could always find something to give thanks for even if it was just simply my next breath. I have learned some hard lessons this year and as hard as it was , I am even thankful for those. I have learned that I have been taking some things for granted and that I need to be more dilligent in letting the people I love know more often how much I love them and appreciate them. I need to spend more time with the ones closest to me and make them more of a priority instead of just a thought. I have learned that God has blessed me with an amazing ability to abunduntly forgive and forget. That perhaps has been the hardest of them all because it required me to be hurt in a major way to figure that one out . I have learned that I love deeply and therefore at times hurt deeply but I have learned how to embrace that.
     I have learned who my real friends , who I can count on , and who I can't. That is a most valuable lesson. I have learned how very important  and fragile trust really is. I have learned that love really does cover a multitude of sins . I have learned that my faith is bigger then anything Satan can throw at me. I have learned how important it truly is to lean on God and stay in his word instead of the world.
     I am thankful for the hard leassons as well as the people God has surrounded me with that have supported me, loved me, and prayed for me when I needed those things the most. Yes , I have much to be thankful for, maybe more than any one person should be allowed. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

     It has been over a month since I have put fingers to keyboard in this capacity. I think it must be because I was taught that if you can't say something nice then you shouldn't say anything at all.I couldn't possible spew enough in one day to cover it all but I need to vent and this is a safe place. If I offend then oh well, just click off and come back another day. I am not sure exactly what to vomit first.
     I am participating in a FB challenge to come up with something I am thankful for everyday this month since this is the month of Thanksgiving and don't get me wrong its easy to come up with something everyday. I have been blessed in so many ways and I am thankful daily for what my heavenly Father chooses to give me , materially and in inmaterial ways.God is good to me and I recognize that every minute of every day.However I am not overflowing with kind thoughts every minute of every day. Me and God have had some serious conversations lately.
     I love being a mommy and I love being a wife. God has blessed me with two beautiful, smart, healthy children who I adore . He has also blessed me with a gorgeous husband who is generous, loving, hard working , and a fabulous father. I know that being a woman is a curse of sorts. Many household responsibilities land on me. My man works long hours and " brings home the bacon" so to speak and I even though I have a job too , I pick up the cleaning, cooking, shopping, bill paying, etc responsibilities. I make sure everyone gets up and to where they need to be on time every morning. I make sure lunches are packed, planners are signed, and homework is done. I do the grocery shopping, the meal planning, the meal cooking, and the cleaning up after the meals. I make sure clothes get washed, dried, and put away. I make sure the bills get paid . I do the sweeping, dusting, mopping, and toilet cleaning. I walk through the house daily putting things in their proper place . About the only thing I ask of my husband is for him to take some trash off every one in a while and for him to do the mowing in the summer. I am the wife and mother and this is just my job. On Mothers day I get a card saying I appreciate what you do . Once a year I am recognized for being a good wife and mother. I tell my kids all the time how proud I am of them when they do something right. I thank my husband on a regular basis for what he does. I can go spend $100 and two hours of my time at the grocery store and 24 hours later somebody in this house says " there is nothing to eat here". Thanks what kind of thanks I get.
      I fact , here is what I normally get :  " I don't want that for supper " well then scoot your butt to the kitchen and make yourself something to eat. " I don't have any clean jeans" well then start putting your dirty ones in the dirty clothes basket and I will wash then, dry them, fold them, and put them away for you. " You didn't sign my planner " It wasn't in your back pack, if you bring it home, I will sign it. " I can't find anything around here" Well if you would put it back where YOU want  it to be then I wouldn't be forced to look at it for a week and guess where it is supposed to go. "Its just  not fair " LIFE ISN"T FAIR or I would be 5' 5" , weigh 125 pounds and look super sexy in a two piece bathing suit, get over it and move on. " I don't know why so and so can't just blah, blah, blah, " Do it yourself like I do if you want it done right." Funny thing is , I don't usually say those comebacks, I just think them, smile and do what I can to correct or diffuse the situation. Ben complains to me about Cara. Cara complains to me about Ben. Both complain to me about Eric. Eric complains to me about them. Like I can do anything about it. Who do I get to complain to ?? Oh wait, I forgot, I am mommy and wife and thats just my job and I need to do it and not complain.
     Totally different subject but just as bothersome to me. I am generally a happy person with a smile on my face. I have a friend that even tells me I am too chipper at times and to bring it down a notch. I am in a good mood most of the time. I know people have bad days . I know people sometimes just don't feel well. I get that and when I am around someone who isn't having a good day or apparently doesn't feel good then I try very hard to give them a break. Here is my issue : don't make your bad day , my bad day. I am very sensitive to moods. If you are in my presence fussing and cussing, don't expect me to smile at you and be nice. You have just turned my mood and its gonna take a while to recover my joy that you just sucked right outta me. If I am miserable, I make a concentrated effort to NOT make everyone around me miserable too.I so wish the people closest to me would do the same.
     I am not done. I would really prefer to vent for the next 4 or 5 hours but alas its almost time for work and I am still in my workout / cleaning house clothes. I need to change and boogy out the door.