For Christmas 2012 my husband wrote me a love letter and it was , my most favorite, bestest gift ever. It also inspired me to do something very special for him. I started a list of things that I love about him and things that he does that I love. I wrote them out on regular notebook paper and cut it into strips.The first 150 or so flowed out onto paper like lava and then it became a little challenging. The plan was that every day in 2013 he would receive one of these strips. I recycled a container to keep them in so that at the end of the year they are all in one place. On Valentine's day he gave me a fat envelope that contained 45 love strips to catch up and joined me in the daily ritual of the giving of "love strips" before retiring for the day. The year is almost over and I have to say that I am going to miss this little ritual.
Starting a list like this is easy. Some of the first ones are obvious things like #2 I love that you make me feel safe or #4 I love that you still hold my hand. Some were funny like #75 I love that you let me put my cold feet on your legs to warm them or #89 I love that you don't complain about how many times you have to stop for me to pee on long trips. Some were serious like #109 I love that you never leave without first giving me a kiss and an "I love you"or #114 I love that I can't remember what it's like to not love you.There are the ones that came about because of something he did that particular day such as #134 I love when you tell me I am pretty especially when I don't feel like it or #170 I love when you come home for lunch. Then there are the ones that I cannot share because they are naughty and for his eyes only.
The point is this : Eric has always been the husband that tells me many times a day that he loves me. I have always told him many times a day that I love him. I wanted to switch it up a little and tell him WHY I loved him. As a bonus , now I know WHY he loves me too.This has been fun. It has been revealing. It has been good for us in ways that I can't even explain. If you want to do something special for your spouse, something meaningful that will show them your love , I highly recommend you start a list. January 1st is just around the corner.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
I believe differently than you
There are several reasons that I blog. Sometimes it is to record a memory . Other times it is to share my life. Still other times it is to vent. After all, it is my blog and I can say what I want to. I often share the link to my words on Facebook since I have more Facebook friends than blog followers.You have been put on notice : this post is a vent / rant . I may lose some friends over this one. You know what ? I really don't care. After all, this is my blog and I can say what I want to.
Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down a few rulings regarding same sex marriage. Within hours I was seeing posts that included words such as love, hate, respect, compassion, judgemental, and rights.I do NOT support same sex marriage and apparently that automatically makes me a hateful, judgemental bigot incapable of respect, love, and compassion. That's funny because I thought that just made me simply a person who thinks / believes differently than someone who does support same sex marriage. I am the queen of multitasking. I can disagree with someone and love them, show compassion for them, and treat them with respect all at the same time. The fact that I have been married for 17 years is proof of that.So for all of the supporters of same sex marriage out there, this one is for you.
I believe differently than you. You have fought for your "right" to believe as you do and this is me fighting for mine. I still love you. I do not consume alcoholic beverages but I am fully capable of loving , having compassion for, and showing respect for some one who chooses to. I love bacon but I am fully capable of loving, having compassion for, and showing respect for vegetarians. Secretly I am probably gonna think you are crazy for not eating bacon but I promise not to shout that from the rooftops. Point is, I am capable of disagreeing with how you live your life and still able to love you, have compassion for you, and treat you with respect. I simply believe differently than you do. How does that make ME the bad guy? And that really is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to come down to "rights".
So, lets go there. I have come to despise the word "rights". Because we live in the "land of the free", everyone has this idea that they have all these "rights". Why? Because of this piece of paper called the Constitution. Newsflash: These "rights" were thought of and penned by men . They have been amended and infringed upon by men over the years to suit the thoughts of the majority. We have come to believe that we have certain "guaranteed ( and I use that term loosely) rights". Guess what ? The moment I was born, I was given the right to breathe as long as God chooses to allow me to. When HE chooses to take that right away, I cease to breathe and therefore I die. That is really truly the one and only right that we as human beings have and we have no control of it.
This is not me trying to change your position nor am I going to change mine. I believe differently than you. So if you think that automatically makes me a hateful bigot, then who is the one really being judgemental here? I believe differently than you. I didn't call you names. So then who is the one really being hateful here?I believe differently than you. If you can't love me, have compassion for me, and treat me with respect for that reason, delete me. The end.
Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down a few rulings regarding same sex marriage. Within hours I was seeing posts that included words such as love, hate, respect, compassion, judgemental, and rights.I do NOT support same sex marriage and apparently that automatically makes me a hateful, judgemental bigot incapable of respect, love, and compassion. That's funny because I thought that just made me simply a person who thinks / believes differently than someone who does support same sex marriage. I am the queen of multitasking. I can disagree with someone and love them, show compassion for them, and treat them with respect all at the same time. The fact that I have been married for 17 years is proof of that.So for all of the supporters of same sex marriage out there, this one is for you.
I believe differently than you. You have fought for your "right" to believe as you do and this is me fighting for mine. I still love you. I do not consume alcoholic beverages but I am fully capable of loving , having compassion for, and showing respect for some one who chooses to. I love bacon but I am fully capable of loving, having compassion for, and showing respect for vegetarians. Secretly I am probably gonna think you are crazy for not eating bacon but I promise not to shout that from the rooftops. Point is, I am capable of disagreeing with how you live your life and still able to love you, have compassion for you, and treat you with respect. I simply believe differently than you do. How does that make ME the bad guy? And that really is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to come down to "rights".
So, lets go there. I have come to despise the word "rights". Because we live in the "land of the free", everyone has this idea that they have all these "rights". Why? Because of this piece of paper called the Constitution. Newsflash: These "rights" were thought of and penned by men . They have been amended and infringed upon by men over the years to suit the thoughts of the majority. We have come to believe that we have certain "guaranteed ( and I use that term loosely) rights". Guess what ? The moment I was born, I was given the right to breathe as long as God chooses to allow me to. When HE chooses to take that right away, I cease to breathe and therefore I die. That is really truly the one and only right that we as human beings have and we have no control of it.
This is not me trying to change your position nor am I going to change mine. I believe differently than you. So if you think that automatically makes me a hateful bigot, then who is the one really being judgemental here? I believe differently than you. I didn't call you names. So then who is the one really being hateful here?I believe differently than you. If you can't love me, have compassion for me, and treat me with respect for that reason, delete me. The end.
Monday, May 20, 2013
I said "I do " ...again
Scattered in among the happiness has come anger, disappointment, and hurt. Those moments aren't the ones that we want to live in our memories forever. However, it's those moments that God, in his infinite wisdom, used to make our marriage stronger. It's those moments that after they are over have made me love my husband that much more. It's those moments that have made me appreciate the happy ones. I loved my husband the day I married him and didn't think it possible that I could ever love him more. Yet, I continue to fall in love with him over and over again. I am not sure if it's despite what we have been through or because of it.
At the very end of 2011 Eric and I discussed renewing our vows in 2012. Life got in the way , months passed and it just didn't get planned. Looking back , I can see that it wasn't just busy lives or laziness that kept the planning from taking place. It was God. I guess God had to make sure we were strong enough to weather the next 17 years before allowing us to take that plunge again, so He tested us. In retrospect almost the entire year was a gigantic test, not just a test of our marriage but a test of my faith.In fact I believe the last 4 years or so has been strategically designed by the Master to turn me into a warrior. I can say with absolute certainty that my marriage has withstood some storms that statistics say it should not have.
By January of this year, it was obvious that we had passed the test and that we had HIS blessing to do as we had planned a year before. We didn't want a big audience. This was really just for us, not for show. There were only 8 in attendance , Eric, me, our children, my best friend, her husband , and their 2 children. We met on their back porch, exchanged vows that we had written and Eric sang a song that he had written for the occasion. The entire thing was simple, beautiful, and I cried the entire time. Afterwards we grilled some hot dogs and hamburgers and enjoyed each other's company for several hours.
The next morning we dropped the kids off at friend's houses and we spent two uninterrupted days in Cherokee together, reliving old memories and making new ones. I do not know what God has planned for tomorrow, much less for years down the road. I do know this: God surely means for me to be with this man and for him to be with me.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Its all about perspective
Moments ago I was thinking about how many hours I was gonna be on my feet tomorrow cooking and baking and quite honestly dreading it. I took in a deep breath and blew it out apparently a little too loudly because my husband asked me what was wrong. My response was just thinking about all I have to do tomorrow. After that it only took me a minute or so before I checked myself and changed my heart. This happens to me on almost a daily basis, this inner struggle within my heart to see things differently.
Take laundry for example. I HATE laundry. I average 7 to 8 loads of laundry every week. It is never ending and such a tedious task. I catch myself fussing at my children if I see them change into clean clothes when they get home from school because I know when they get ready for bed those clothes will end up in the dirty clothes basket along with the clothes they wore earlier in the day therefore creating double the amount of clothes for me to wash. More often than not as I am folding or putting that very same laundry away in closets and drawers I find myself thinking about how blessed I am to have a husband and children to dirty clothes. If I lived alone I could probably get the loads down to 2 or 3 a week but oh how much I would miss out on. The love and joy those three bring into my life by far make up for the work of washing, drying, folding, and putting away. See how that works? Its all about perspective.
Back to tomorrow. Thansgiving is a day we set aside to take stock of what we have to be thankful for. Hopefully all of us are thankful every day for what God blesses us with. I guess it doesn't hurt though for a whole entire day to be dedicated to doing just that. So yes, I am going to be in my kitchen for hours tomorrow cooking and baking. I have two meals to prepare for. One at lunch time and the other in the evening so after spending hours in the kitchen there is the task of loading it up and driving to and back from our mutiple destinations.How blessed I am to have enough family to have 2 meals on Thanksgiving day instead of just one. How blessed I am to have a well stocked kitchen and appliances that work. How blessed I am to have a running vehicle to get us to where we need to be. How blessed I am to have my husband here with me instead of half the globe away . How blessed I am to be physically able to do everything on my to do list for tomorrow. How blessed we all are when we take the time to really think about it.
May your turkey be moist, your pie be sweet, your hearts be full, and may you be surrounded by people you love.
Take laundry for example. I HATE laundry. I average 7 to 8 loads of laundry every week. It is never ending and such a tedious task. I catch myself fussing at my children if I see them change into clean clothes when they get home from school because I know when they get ready for bed those clothes will end up in the dirty clothes basket along with the clothes they wore earlier in the day therefore creating double the amount of clothes for me to wash. More often than not as I am folding or putting that very same laundry away in closets and drawers I find myself thinking about how blessed I am to have a husband and children to dirty clothes. If I lived alone I could probably get the loads down to 2 or 3 a week but oh how much I would miss out on. The love and joy those three bring into my life by far make up for the work of washing, drying, folding, and putting away. See how that works? Its all about perspective.
Back to tomorrow. Thansgiving is a day we set aside to take stock of what we have to be thankful for. Hopefully all of us are thankful every day for what God blesses us with. I guess it doesn't hurt though for a whole entire day to be dedicated to doing just that. So yes, I am going to be in my kitchen for hours tomorrow cooking and baking. I have two meals to prepare for. One at lunch time and the other in the evening so after spending hours in the kitchen there is the task of loading it up and driving to and back from our mutiple destinations.How blessed I am to have enough family to have 2 meals on Thanksgiving day instead of just one. How blessed I am to have a well stocked kitchen and appliances that work. How blessed I am to have a running vehicle to get us to where we need to be. How blessed I am to have my husband here with me instead of half the globe away . How blessed I am to be physically able to do everything on my to do list for tomorrow. How blessed we all are when we take the time to really think about it.
May your turkey be moist, your pie be sweet, your hearts be full, and may you be surrounded by people you love.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Consistent love
I have been thinking a lot about inconditional love lately , probably because I am trying more and more love that way. Its hard ! Hear me, when I love , I love big. It is easy for me to love and I am quick to forgive. We all tell those we love "I love you no matter what" and most of us truly mean it. We may indeed love someone no matter how badly they disappoint or hurt us. Here's the deal though: how many of us show love the same way in those hurt and disappointed moments as we do in the content happy moments? How many of us withold affection when we are angry ? How many of us deny forgiveness until we know the lesson has been learned? How many of us use the silent treatment or cold shoulder tactic ? Answer: not me, me, me , and ummm me. My conclusion: maybe I don't have an issue with unconditional love at all, maybe my issue is consistent love.
As a parent I know unconditional love well. All of us start out the same way...as babies. Babies are easy to love. They fit perfectly in your arms and they are easy to read. They smile when they are happy and cry when they are not. They do not have intentions yet so their actions can't hurt you in any way. Ok, maybe a really bad poopy diaper can make your eyes water and nose hair burn but you know what I mean. Its only when they get older and have words that we learn very quickly how badly that precious bundle of joy can cause us emotional pain. Then there are adults...full vocabulary and sometimes not the best of intentions.
Why is it that when we are hurt, disappointed, or angry at or by someone we feel the need to punish that someone in some way? We respond with either words that hurt them back or the above mentioned actions. The only answer I can come up with is that it is simply human nature and its out of selfishness because we are certainly not following the example set for us by our Creator.
Even though we were disobedient, sinful, and ungrateful, God loved us anyway. He loved us so much that he sent his only son to this earth to be hated, tortured , and crucified . Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to leave heaven for us knowing what was to come. Sometimes when I think about that kind of love , it is overwhelming. As parents we yell at our kids when they run across the street without looking both ways because we don't want them to get hurt. How many of us would knowingly send our kids to slaughter? How many of us would leave our cozy homes to voluntarily be tortured and killed for someone who hated us? Well God did and Jesus did. Why? Because their response to disappointment and hurt was to show love in the most incredible way. So incredible that we can't even fit it on the unconditional scale.
The more I think about it , the harder I am trying to rip a page that from that book and establish it as my standard. Responding with love is not easy and I have failed more than I have succeeded lately but I am finding that the more I put it into practice the better at it I am becoming. I can tell you that the difference it makes is worth the extra effort.
As a parent I know unconditional love well. All of us start out the same way...as babies. Babies are easy to love. They fit perfectly in your arms and they are easy to read. They smile when they are happy and cry when they are not. They do not have intentions yet so their actions can't hurt you in any way. Ok, maybe a really bad poopy diaper can make your eyes water and nose hair burn but you know what I mean. Its only when they get older and have words that we learn very quickly how badly that precious bundle of joy can cause us emotional pain. Then there are adults...full vocabulary and sometimes not the best of intentions.
Why is it that when we are hurt, disappointed, or angry at or by someone we feel the need to punish that someone in some way? We respond with either words that hurt them back or the above mentioned actions. The only answer I can come up with is that it is simply human nature and its out of selfishness because we are certainly not following the example set for us by our Creator.
Even though we were disobedient, sinful, and ungrateful, God loved us anyway. He loved us so much that he sent his only son to this earth to be hated, tortured , and crucified . Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to leave heaven for us knowing what was to come. Sometimes when I think about that kind of love , it is overwhelming. As parents we yell at our kids when they run across the street without looking both ways because we don't want them to get hurt. How many of us would knowingly send our kids to slaughter? How many of us would leave our cozy homes to voluntarily be tortured and killed for someone who hated us? Well God did and Jesus did. Why? Because their response to disappointment and hurt was to show love in the most incredible way. So incredible that we can't even fit it on the unconditional scale.
The more I think about it , the harder I am trying to rip a page that from that book and establish it as my standard. Responding with love is not easy and I have failed more than I have succeeded lately but I am finding that the more I put it into practice the better at it I am becoming. I can tell you that the difference it makes is worth the extra effort.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
14,600 Days
Well, God allowed me to awake this morning so I have officially been alive on the earth for 14,600 days. If you suck at math as I do, thats 40 years.I do not feel any older than I did yesterday but feel much older than I did say 20 years ago. I have heard that wisdom comes with age . I do not feel any smarter today than I did yesterday but I feel much smarter than I did even 2 years ago. I have spent some time over the last week pondering the 40 years of my life and I am humbled.
God chose to place me within a big family filled with love . He chose the best mommy in the whole world for me. From day one til now she has been the ONLY earthly constant in my life. Others have come and gone but she has ALWAYS been there for me, every day of my 40 years. She has taught me so much and influenced the kind of woman I would become.
Sixteen years ago I married the man that God picked out for me. He was and continues to be the love of my earthly life. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for this man and the marriage that we have. Then God allowed me to carry not one but two babies within my body and entrusted me with beautiful, healthy children. The joy that my marriage and children have brought into my life is incomparable to any other kind of joy til I see Heaven.
Not every single one of my 14,600 days have been filled with sunshine, rainbows, and happiness. There has been heartache, heartbreak, pain, loss, and trouble but I have no regret. I thank God as much for the hurt as I do the joy because it has shaped me into who I am today. Through it all I have learned only to lean on God all the more. I have learned who I can really count on in times of need and who I can't. I have learned to appreciate what I do have instead of wanting what I don't or can't have. I have learned to love completely and unconditionally. I have learned how to truly forgive. I have learned to treasure moments that really matter. I have learned that without pain you cannot fully appreciate what joy feels like. I have learned time passes in an instant and to make the most out the time I am given. I have learned that love is the single most important possession you have and can give away. 40 years of learning and I know I am not finished.
As I have gotten older I have realized that I spend more time doing things that I want to do versus what I need to do. There will always be laundry or cleaning that needs to be done but if today is my last day upon this earth I don't want it to have been just about work and no play. As I have gotten older I have realized how much more people mean to me instead of things. I have realized that there are less things worth waiting in line for. There have been times in my life that I have had self esteem issues so probably the most important realization I have ever had was this : My father is God, I am the child of a King. I am a princess, which makes me special even if only to Him. Everything belongs to Him so when my life is over, the race has been run, and I cross the finish line, I have a pretty hefty inheritance coming my way.
I did not wake up this morning psychologically scarred because there is now a number 4 starting my age instead of a 3.I do not look back on my first 39 years and wish I had done anything differently or better. I am proud of who I am . I am the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, and child of God that I can be. There are a few things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday , we'll see how that goes. I am thankful for my first 40 years and I am ready for ever how many more God chooses to give me.
God chose to place me within a big family filled with love . He chose the best mommy in the whole world for me. From day one til now she has been the ONLY earthly constant in my life. Others have come and gone but she has ALWAYS been there for me, every day of my 40 years. She has taught me so much and influenced the kind of woman I would become.
Sixteen years ago I married the man that God picked out for me. He was and continues to be the love of my earthly life. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for this man and the marriage that we have. Then God allowed me to carry not one but two babies within my body and entrusted me with beautiful, healthy children. The joy that my marriage and children have brought into my life is incomparable to any other kind of joy til I see Heaven.
Not every single one of my 14,600 days have been filled with sunshine, rainbows, and happiness. There has been heartache, heartbreak, pain, loss, and trouble but I have no regret. I thank God as much for the hurt as I do the joy because it has shaped me into who I am today. Through it all I have learned only to lean on God all the more. I have learned who I can really count on in times of need and who I can't. I have learned to appreciate what I do have instead of wanting what I don't or can't have. I have learned to love completely and unconditionally. I have learned how to truly forgive. I have learned to treasure moments that really matter. I have learned that without pain you cannot fully appreciate what joy feels like. I have learned time passes in an instant and to make the most out the time I am given. I have learned that love is the single most important possession you have and can give away. 40 years of learning and I know I am not finished.
As I have gotten older I have realized that I spend more time doing things that I want to do versus what I need to do. There will always be laundry or cleaning that needs to be done but if today is my last day upon this earth I don't want it to have been just about work and no play. As I have gotten older I have realized how much more people mean to me instead of things. I have realized that there are less things worth waiting in line for. There have been times in my life that I have had self esteem issues so probably the most important realization I have ever had was this : My father is God, I am the child of a King. I am a princess, which makes me special even if only to Him. Everything belongs to Him so when my life is over, the race has been run, and I cross the finish line, I have a pretty hefty inheritance coming my way.
I did not wake up this morning psychologically scarred because there is now a number 4 starting my age instead of a 3.I do not look back on my first 39 years and wish I had done anything differently or better. I am proud of who I am . I am the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, and child of God that I can be. There are a few things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday , we'll see how that goes. I am thankful for my first 40 years and I am ready for ever how many more God chooses to give me.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The best gift ever
Go in any store today and you are bombarded with everything pink and red. Flowers, candy, cards, balloons and anything else that can possibly be cute enough for you to say "awwww". All of this for one day out of the year that we set aside to celebrate love. I fall into the trap too. I have already bought my husband, kids, and mom a card. I plan on making a special breakfast and supper tomorrow for my family. I plan on saying "happy valentines day" and maybe go a little overboard on the "I love yous".
Here's the deal...Flowers die, candy gets eaten, cards either get stuffed away or thrown away, balloons lose their helium , and I am too old for a cutsie stuffed animal. So what do I want for Valentines day? Well, I am a sucker for a sappy card so at least one of those would be nice. I am a stuffer, not a tosser. I am sure that there will come a day when I will drag out all those old cards and re-read all those wonderfully written cards that my loved ones have spent time standing in crowded aisles to pick out for me. I am just not the material kind of gal. I don't need or want more "stuff". I have enough "stuff". I am looking for the best gift ever.
What is the best gift ever you ask? The best gifts are those that cannot be bought . I want forever with the man that I married. I want him to love me and only me for as long as we live, you know, the death do us part kind of love. I want to be cherished by him. I want to be appreciated. I want to snuggle up to him every night and know that he is mine and I am his. I want my kids to appreciate me and say please and thank you . I want them to tell me that I am the best mommy ever. I don't just want these things on Valentines day but everyday in between. That , my friends, is the best gift ever and its all free. I will not be asking for any of this because I am blessed enough to already have these gifts in my possession. If you don't then my wish for you this Valentines day is that you are on your way to finding it.
Here's the deal...Flowers die, candy gets eaten, cards either get stuffed away or thrown away, balloons lose their helium , and I am too old for a cutsie stuffed animal. So what do I want for Valentines day? Well, I am a sucker for a sappy card so at least one of those would be nice. I am a stuffer, not a tosser. I am sure that there will come a day when I will drag out all those old cards and re-read all those wonderfully written cards that my loved ones have spent time standing in crowded aisles to pick out for me. I am just not the material kind of gal. I don't need or want more "stuff". I have enough "stuff". I am looking for the best gift ever.
What is the best gift ever you ask? The best gifts are those that cannot be bought . I want forever with the man that I married. I want him to love me and only me for as long as we live, you know, the death do us part kind of love. I want to be cherished by him. I want to be appreciated. I want to snuggle up to him every night and know that he is mine and I am his. I want my kids to appreciate me and say please and thank you . I want them to tell me that I am the best mommy ever. I don't just want these things on Valentines day but everyday in between. That , my friends, is the best gift ever and its all free. I will not be asking for any of this because I am blessed enough to already have these gifts in my possession. If you don't then my wish for you this Valentines day is that you are on your way to finding it.
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