A couple of days ago I got a lead on a sweet job that would have changed our lives in a major way. In excitement I filled out an application and turned it in. I am not one to sit around and wait for very long so I called yesterday to find out if it made it to the correct hands. Well , it did but the job is no longer open. The job post ran about 7 months ago and they couldn't find someone desirable for the position and then the opening closed. Someone else within the office is now doing her job and that one with the one in charge not wanting to take the time to interview again right now. It may become available again later but for now it is a no go. I guess this one wasn't meant to be. I turned in another application earlier this week and turning yet another one in today to different places, crossing my fingers and praying all the while.
Eric has had some job offers but none of them come close to what he is making now and none come with ANY benefits . I have diabetes and ongoing health issues, we have 2 kids, we MUST have insurance.
The classifieds are of no help and online searches have so far been a waste of time. I have looked everyday. We are only a couple of weeks into this search and I know people who have been looking for much longer than we have. The economy just sucks right now and that it the only way I know how to put it. I am not whining again...just stating facts. I do not know what either one of us will end up doing . I do not know what God's plan is but I do know HE has one, HE always does and it is always better than what we would have come up with on our own.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Pulling up my big girl panties
Not too long ago my nine year old was upset about something and exclaimed "it isn't fair". My reply was "you are correct, it isn't fair. You have two choices. You can either sit around and whine about it which changes nothing, or you can put on your big girl panties and just deal with it."Well, she did both. She sat around for the next 20 minutes and whined about it and then just dealt with the fact that the situation wasn't going to change. I am following her lead. This is my 20 minutes of whining and then I'm gonna pull up my big girl panties and deal with it.
The company that my husband works for is closing by the end of the year. This is not the first time that my husband has looked for a job. He has had more than a few during our almost sixteen years of marriage. He has had good paying jobs and sucky paying jobs. The best paying job paid the bills with extra left over but it was salary and he didn't spend much time at home. When he was home, he spent his time checking voice mails and returning calls. The sucky paying jobs paid the bills most of the time but came with the stress of maybe having not enough if we had to have new tires or something else unexpected.
When my husband was hired by John S Clark we were hoping that he would retire from there. It was the perfect balance. He is salary but he is able to be home by supper most nights. We have enough to pay the bills with enough left over to maybe eat out a couple of times a month. He works hard for 50 hours a week and puts up with more crap than anyone should have to but he actually enjoys his job. Even through this latest recession Clark has been profitable . This closing is all about greed. Some people half a world away care more about lining their own pockets than they care about the more than 100 employes who now have to figure out how to feed their families and insure them before we are arrested for not having insurance...I guess that is anothother topic for a different day.
Its not fair...there I said it and if it was socially acceptable I would lay on the ground and pummel the ground with my fists while screaming it at the top of my lungs. Its not fair that my husband is once again looking for work. Its not fair that the chances are high that he will not find a job making what he is making right now. Its not fair that chances are high that I am going to have to give up time with my children to work full time to make up for the lost income instead of staying a part timer . Its not fair that No matter where I go I will most likely just be working to pay for insurance and child care. How asanine is that? ITS JUST NOT FAIR !!!!!
I have spent my day filling out job applications and searching the ESC website for jobs. Pickings are slim in Mount Airy and surrounding areas.I have spent the last 4 years subbing for Millennium Charter Academy and two out of the last 4 working for their after school program. Subbing will not cut it and after school is at most 12 hours a week at minimum wage. My dream job would be to work within the school system until my children are at least in high school so I could spend my summers with them but that is what that is...a dream. I have a 4 year degree in human services that I have never used but all jobs at this point that require you to have the 4 year degree also requires at least 2 years experience which I don't have. Can somebody please explain that one to me. I have the degree but how am I supposed to get the experience if nobody will hire me without the experience?
Believe it or not, I haven't really spent any amount of time stressing about this situation. After the initial shock , I gave it to God and trust him to work this out for the good because that is his promise to his children. I have cried but probably not for the reasons you think. I have cried for my husband .Cried because I hate seeing him get up every day to go to work for a company that before long will just cease to exsist while at the same time spending every extra minute following up on job leads. Cried because I know how smart he is and I know his work ethic and I know he will not be paid what he is worth. Cried because we aren't the only ones affected by this stupid situation and there are some who are worse off than we are.Then there have been moments that I have cried for the reasons that you think. I have cried because life as we know it right now at this moment is going to change very soon. Cried because I know that I will most likely be ripped from the precious moments with my children just to survive. Cried because there will be no vacation this year no matter how selfish that may sound. Cried because I know no matter how many times I say "its not fair" I still have to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it.
The company that my husband works for is closing by the end of the year. This is not the first time that my husband has looked for a job. He has had more than a few during our almost sixteen years of marriage. He has had good paying jobs and sucky paying jobs. The best paying job paid the bills with extra left over but it was salary and he didn't spend much time at home. When he was home, he spent his time checking voice mails and returning calls. The sucky paying jobs paid the bills most of the time but came with the stress of maybe having not enough if we had to have new tires or something else unexpected.
When my husband was hired by John S Clark we were hoping that he would retire from there. It was the perfect balance. He is salary but he is able to be home by supper most nights. We have enough to pay the bills with enough left over to maybe eat out a couple of times a month. He works hard for 50 hours a week and puts up with more crap than anyone should have to but he actually enjoys his job. Even through this latest recession Clark has been profitable . This closing is all about greed. Some people half a world away care more about lining their own pockets than they care about the more than 100 employes who now have to figure out how to feed their families and insure them before we are arrested for not having insurance...I guess that is anothother topic for a different day.
Its not fair...there I said it and if it was socially acceptable I would lay on the ground and pummel the ground with my fists while screaming it at the top of my lungs. Its not fair that my husband is once again looking for work. Its not fair that the chances are high that he will not find a job making what he is making right now. Its not fair that chances are high that I am going to have to give up time with my children to work full time to make up for the lost income instead of staying a part timer . Its not fair that No matter where I go I will most likely just be working to pay for insurance and child care. How asanine is that? ITS JUST NOT FAIR !!!!!
I have spent my day filling out job applications and searching the ESC website for jobs. Pickings are slim in Mount Airy and surrounding areas.I have spent the last 4 years subbing for Millennium Charter Academy and two out of the last 4 working for their after school program. Subbing will not cut it and after school is at most 12 hours a week at minimum wage. My dream job would be to work within the school system until my children are at least in high school so I could spend my summers with them but that is what that is...a dream. I have a 4 year degree in human services that I have never used but all jobs at this point that require you to have the 4 year degree also requires at least 2 years experience which I don't have. Can somebody please explain that one to me. I have the degree but how am I supposed to get the experience if nobody will hire me without the experience?
Believe it or not, I haven't really spent any amount of time stressing about this situation. After the initial shock , I gave it to God and trust him to work this out for the good because that is his promise to his children. I have cried but probably not for the reasons you think. I have cried for my husband .Cried because I hate seeing him get up every day to go to work for a company that before long will just cease to exsist while at the same time spending every extra minute following up on job leads. Cried because I know how smart he is and I know his work ethic and I know he will not be paid what he is worth. Cried because we aren't the only ones affected by this stupid situation and there are some who are worse off than we are.Then there have been moments that I have cried for the reasons that you think. I have cried because life as we know it right now at this moment is going to change very soon. Cried because I know that I will most likely be ripped from the precious moments with my children just to survive. Cried because there will be no vacation this year no matter how selfish that may sound. Cried because I know no matter how many times I say "its not fair" I still have to pull up my big girl panties and deal with it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The best gift ever
Go in any store today and you are bombarded with everything pink and red. Flowers, candy, cards, balloons and anything else that can possibly be cute enough for you to say "awwww". All of this for one day out of the year that we set aside to celebrate love. I fall into the trap too. I have already bought my husband, kids, and mom a card. I plan on making a special breakfast and supper tomorrow for my family. I plan on saying "happy valentines day" and maybe go a little overboard on the "I love yous".
Here's the deal...Flowers die, candy gets eaten, cards either get stuffed away or thrown away, balloons lose their helium , and I am too old for a cutsie stuffed animal. So what do I want for Valentines day? Well, I am a sucker for a sappy card so at least one of those would be nice. I am a stuffer, not a tosser. I am sure that there will come a day when I will drag out all those old cards and re-read all those wonderfully written cards that my loved ones have spent time standing in crowded aisles to pick out for me. I am just not the material kind of gal. I don't need or want more "stuff". I have enough "stuff". I am looking for the best gift ever.
What is the best gift ever you ask? The best gifts are those that cannot be bought . I want forever with the man that I married. I want him to love me and only me for as long as we live, you know, the death do us part kind of love. I want to be cherished by him. I want to be appreciated. I want to snuggle up to him every night and know that he is mine and I am his. I want my kids to appreciate me and say please and thank you . I want them to tell me that I am the best mommy ever. I don't just want these things on Valentines day but everyday in between. That , my friends, is the best gift ever and its all free. I will not be asking for any of this because I am blessed enough to already have these gifts in my possession. If you don't then my wish for you this Valentines day is that you are on your way to finding it.
Here's the deal...Flowers die, candy gets eaten, cards either get stuffed away or thrown away, balloons lose their helium , and I am too old for a cutsie stuffed animal. So what do I want for Valentines day? Well, I am a sucker for a sappy card so at least one of those would be nice. I am a stuffer, not a tosser. I am sure that there will come a day when I will drag out all those old cards and re-read all those wonderfully written cards that my loved ones have spent time standing in crowded aisles to pick out for me. I am just not the material kind of gal. I don't need or want more "stuff". I have enough "stuff". I am looking for the best gift ever.
What is the best gift ever you ask? The best gifts are those that cannot be bought . I want forever with the man that I married. I want him to love me and only me for as long as we live, you know, the death do us part kind of love. I want to be cherished by him. I want to be appreciated. I want to snuggle up to him every night and know that he is mine and I am his. I want my kids to appreciate me and say please and thank you . I want them to tell me that I am the best mommy ever. I don't just want these things on Valentines day but everyday in between. That , my friends, is the best gift ever and its all free. I will not be asking for any of this because I am blessed enough to already have these gifts in my possession. If you don't then my wish for you this Valentines day is that you are on your way to finding it.
Friday, February 3, 2012
I don't make this crap up
It's been a day and I haven't even made it to work yet. After dropping the kids off at school this morning I drove a friend of mine to Yadkinville for a Dr's appointment . I was back in Mount Airy by 10:30 and thought whoo hoo , I have plenty of time. Back up a little...Ben's homeroom teacher makes soap and I wanted a bar so I went to her the other day with money in hand but she refused to let me pay for it. After I insisted she said if I would provide popcorn for a movie afternoon we would call it even. Thirty five lunch size brown bags with a hot air popper...easy, right?
My hot air popper can crank out quite a bit of popcorn at a time so I wasn't worried about being in a hurry to have it there by 12:30. After 3 batches, which provided 10 bags , my popper popped it's last. Having plenty of loose corn left I cranked up the stove top and did it the old fashioned way. Six more bags in and I was spending more time picking out burned pieces than I was popping and bagging. My only option was to go the grocery store and buy the microwave stuff. Keep in mind I am supposed to be delivering popcorn at 12:30. I was pulling in my driveway with a 10 pack box of popsecret at 11:55.
It takes 2 minutes per bag. I was pulling in the driveway of the school at 12:25. Needless to say I popped and bagged like a mad woman to get it there on time. My reward for the craziness? A fresh creamy bar of Lemongrass Day Dream soap made by Mrs Simmons herself. Worth it? Absolutely !
My hot air popper can crank out quite a bit of popcorn at a time so I wasn't worried about being in a hurry to have it there by 12:30. After 3 batches, which provided 10 bags , my popper popped it's last. Having plenty of loose corn left I cranked up the stove top and did it the old fashioned way. Six more bags in and I was spending more time picking out burned pieces than I was popping and bagging. My only option was to go the grocery store and buy the microwave stuff. Keep in mind I am supposed to be delivering popcorn at 12:30. I was pulling in my driveway with a 10 pack box of popsecret at 11:55.
It takes 2 minutes per bag. I was pulling in the driveway of the school at 12:25. Needless to say I popped and bagged like a mad woman to get it there on time. My reward for the craziness? A fresh creamy bar of Lemongrass Day Dream soap made by Mrs Simmons herself. Worth it? Absolutely !
Friday, December 30, 2011
Out with the old
Another year has passed and I have survived. I am not sad to see 2011 go. This past year hasn't been very nice to me. I spent the first 6 months of the year physically miserable and even though a procedure in July has fixed most of that issue , it didn't come easy. It required quite a bit of discomfort, well ok, pain and a much longer recovery than expected. The silver lining to this little tidbit is that I know longer have a monthly mother nature visit and I feel great which has allowed me to start an exercise regiment and I have lost about 15 pounds so I look better too.
Just as I was on the mend from my physical issues, Satan decided to shake things up a bit by throwing some marital challenges my way that I have not had to deal with before. I am happy to report that Satan has officially lost that battle and my marriage is still rock solid. I have never loved my husband more . In fact we are so happy that we have decided to do it all over , the marrying part at least. I proposed to my husband on Christmas Eve and he said yes. We will be renewing our vows in May.
September brought fresh anxiety with Mom's massive heart attack and the complications after. Physically she feels better but I am still concerned about her emotional health.Her heart attack came less than a year after losing her husband. On top of recovery she is still having to deal with estate mess because he didn't have a will. She has had more of her fair share of crap slung her way in the last year.
I would not want to re-live my year but I have learned some valuable life lessons and more importantly how to dig through the muck to find my blessings. God has certainly taken care of me physically, I have never felt better. I have learned how to forgive HIS way and its so much better than MY way. HE allowed me not only to keep my marriage but has blessed me with a better one than I had before. My mom is still here and doing as well as can be expected. I have grown closer to my heavenly FATHER because I have had to lean on him so many times this year. Without HIM and the people HE has chosen to put into my life I would not have dealt as well with some things I have had to deal with. So out with the old and I most certainly welcome the new. Praise God for another year of blessings to come.
Just as I was on the mend from my physical issues, Satan decided to shake things up a bit by throwing some marital challenges my way that I have not had to deal with before. I am happy to report that Satan has officially lost that battle and my marriage is still rock solid. I have never loved my husband more . In fact we are so happy that we have decided to do it all over , the marrying part at least. I proposed to my husband on Christmas Eve and he said yes. We will be renewing our vows in May.
September brought fresh anxiety with Mom's massive heart attack and the complications after. Physically she feels better but I am still concerned about her emotional health.Her heart attack came less than a year after losing her husband. On top of recovery she is still having to deal with estate mess because he didn't have a will. She has had more of her fair share of crap slung her way in the last year.
I would not want to re-live my year but I have learned some valuable life lessons and more importantly how to dig through the muck to find my blessings. God has certainly taken care of me physically, I have never felt better. I have learned how to forgive HIS way and its so much better than MY way. HE allowed me not only to keep my marriage but has blessed me with a better one than I had before. My mom is still here and doing as well as can be expected. I have grown closer to my heavenly FATHER because I have had to lean on him so many times this year. Without HIM and the people HE has chosen to put into my life I would not have dealt as well with some things I have had to deal with. So out with the old and I most certainly welcome the new. Praise God for another year of blessings to come.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Bah Humbug !
Over the last week I have heard many say " I just can't get into the Christmas spirit." I have seen those exact words posted on Facebook over and over . Well bah humbug ! Christmas spirit isn't about putting up a sparkly tree, shopping til you drop, staying up all night wrapping boxes with pretty paper, or baking goodies for everyone you know. If you aren't in the Christmas spirit then you don't know Jesus like I know Jesus. Christmas is a day that we set aside to celebrate the birth of my savior Jesus Christ. He was born in the lowliest of circumstances , grew up a carpenters son, was hated and rejected because He wasn't the "king" that his own people expected, he was tortured and died a most horrific death . His sole purpose in being born and dying was to save us all from our stupid selves. Christmas is about Christ , not us.So if you're making Christmas about the tree, the presents, or the food then don't expect to be in the Christmas spirit. You aren't going to find it in any of those things because true joy isn't found in things . True joy comes from knowing Jesus .
Christmas day falls on Sunday this year and I am saddened knowing that some will spend the day opening presents and eating way too much without spending some time in God's house with God's people celebrating the Man who is what Christmas is all about. My wish for all who reads this is that amid all the hustle and bustle that this time of year brings, you all find the true meaning of Christmas and get yourself some Christmas spirit.
Christmas day falls on Sunday this year and I am saddened knowing that some will spend the day opening presents and eating way too much without spending some time in God's house with God's people celebrating the Man who is what Christmas is all about. My wish for all who reads this is that amid all the hustle and bustle that this time of year brings, you all find the true meaning of Christmas and get yourself some Christmas spirit.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Give and you shall receive
This week has been stupid crazy. On Monday I spent my afternoon cooking and baking for a woman whose husband had been in the hospital. I felt like she needed to rest more than she needed to cook. I spent Tuesday and Wednesday gathering and buying household items for a very dear woman who has spent the better part of the last three years living mainly out of her car. I spent the first half of Friday driving a friend of mine to Yadkinville because her car isn't the most reliable and that is where her doctor is and she needed a prescription refill.Friday evening was spent baking and cooking some more for a meal that my church family took the Hospice home today. Today was the serving of the meal to the staff and family members of patients at the hospice home.
The meal I fixed on Monday wasn't a four course meal and not a lot of food. Most of the items I gave away on Wednesday were things that I already had. I maybe spent $10 on a few new things for her. The trip to Yadkinville really only costed me a little for gas and my time. Part of the meal I fixed for Hospice was crockpotted so it wasn't a big deal.
I didn't do anything I did this week for any sort of recognition . I did everything I did for the smiles on faces and tear filled eyes that express appreciation.I did everything I did this week because my Bible is my standard and it plainly says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I gave of myself this week and in return I received much more than I gave.
When I delivered the meal I fixed on Monday I received hugs and thank yous . The meal was enjoyed and I received even more thank yous. When I delivered a trunk full of stuff to my friend on Wednesday it was so appreciated that I cried on my way home. She told me today that she had not slept on clean sheets in 3 years . Oh the things we take for granted. What a blessing to be able to cook for and serve those people today. Some of them the ones who care for our loved ones who are at the end of their lives. Others were family members of patients there.
What I have gotten from this week is this...I am SO blessed. All of my loved ones are healthy right now and I am not spending my days taking care of somebody. I have sheets on my bed, silverware to eat with, and towels to dry off with. I have a car that gets me to where I need to go. I am not spending this Christmas season saying goodbye forever to someone I love. I have everything I could possibly need and more. I have received more than I gave this week . I can verify that I have been more blessed by giving this week than I have ever been by being on the receiving end.
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