Moments ago I was thinking about how many hours I was gonna be on my feet tomorrow cooking and baking and quite honestly dreading it. I took in a deep breath and blew it out apparently a little too loudly because my husband asked me what was wrong. My response was just thinking about all I have to do tomorrow. After that it only took me a minute or so before I checked myself and changed my heart. This happens to me on almost a daily basis, this inner struggle within my heart to see things differently.
Take laundry for example. I HATE laundry. I average 7 to 8 loads of laundry every week. It is never ending and such a tedious task. I catch myself fussing at my children if I see them change into clean clothes when they get home from school because I know when they get ready for bed those clothes will end up in the dirty clothes basket along with the clothes they wore earlier in the day therefore creating double the amount of clothes for me to wash. More often than not as I am folding or putting that very same laundry away in closets and drawers I find myself thinking about how blessed I am to have a husband and children to dirty clothes. If I lived alone I could probably get the loads down to 2 or 3 a week but oh how much I would miss out on. The love and joy those three bring into my life by far make up for the work of washing, drying, folding, and putting away. See how that works? Its all about perspective.
Back to tomorrow. Thansgiving is a day we set aside to take stock of what we have to be thankful for. Hopefully all of us are thankful every day for what God blesses us with. I guess it doesn't hurt though for a whole entire day to be dedicated to doing just that. So yes, I am going to be in my kitchen for hours tomorrow cooking and baking. I have two meals to prepare for. One at lunch time and the other in the evening so after spending hours in the kitchen there is the task of loading it up and driving to and back from our mutiple destinations.How blessed I am to have enough family to have 2 meals on Thanksgiving day instead of just one. How blessed I am to have a well stocked kitchen and appliances that work. How blessed I am to have a running vehicle to get us to where we need to be. How blessed I am to have my husband here with me instead of half the globe away . How blessed I am to be physically able to do everything on my to do list for tomorrow. How blessed we all are when we take the time to really think about it.
May your turkey be moist, your pie be sweet, your hearts be full, and may you be surrounded by people you love.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Consistent love
I have been thinking a lot about inconditional love lately , probably because I am trying more and more love that way. Its hard ! Hear me, when I love , I love big. It is easy for me to love and I am quick to forgive. We all tell those we love "I love you no matter what" and most of us truly mean it. We may indeed love someone no matter how badly they disappoint or hurt us. Here's the deal though: how many of us show love the same way in those hurt and disappointed moments as we do in the content happy moments? How many of us withold affection when we are angry ? How many of us deny forgiveness until we know the lesson has been learned? How many of us use the silent treatment or cold shoulder tactic ? Answer: not me, me, me , and ummm me. My conclusion: maybe I don't have an issue with unconditional love at all, maybe my issue is consistent love.
As a parent I know unconditional love well. All of us start out the same way...as babies. Babies are easy to love. They fit perfectly in your arms and they are easy to read. They smile when they are happy and cry when they are not. They do not have intentions yet so their actions can't hurt you in any way. Ok, maybe a really bad poopy diaper can make your eyes water and nose hair burn but you know what I mean. Its only when they get older and have words that we learn very quickly how badly that precious bundle of joy can cause us emotional pain. Then there are adults...full vocabulary and sometimes not the best of intentions.
Why is it that when we are hurt, disappointed, or angry at or by someone we feel the need to punish that someone in some way? We respond with either words that hurt them back or the above mentioned actions. The only answer I can come up with is that it is simply human nature and its out of selfishness because we are certainly not following the example set for us by our Creator.
Even though we were disobedient, sinful, and ungrateful, God loved us anyway. He loved us so much that he sent his only son to this earth to be hated, tortured , and crucified . Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to leave heaven for us knowing what was to come. Sometimes when I think about that kind of love , it is overwhelming. As parents we yell at our kids when they run across the street without looking both ways because we don't want them to get hurt. How many of us would knowingly send our kids to slaughter? How many of us would leave our cozy homes to voluntarily be tortured and killed for someone who hated us? Well God did and Jesus did. Why? Because their response to disappointment and hurt was to show love in the most incredible way. So incredible that we can't even fit it on the unconditional scale.
The more I think about it , the harder I am trying to rip a page that from that book and establish it as my standard. Responding with love is not easy and I have failed more than I have succeeded lately but I am finding that the more I put it into practice the better at it I am becoming. I can tell you that the difference it makes is worth the extra effort.
As a parent I know unconditional love well. All of us start out the same way...as babies. Babies are easy to love. They fit perfectly in your arms and they are easy to read. They smile when they are happy and cry when they are not. They do not have intentions yet so their actions can't hurt you in any way. Ok, maybe a really bad poopy diaper can make your eyes water and nose hair burn but you know what I mean. Its only when they get older and have words that we learn very quickly how badly that precious bundle of joy can cause us emotional pain. Then there are adults...full vocabulary and sometimes not the best of intentions.
Why is it that when we are hurt, disappointed, or angry at or by someone we feel the need to punish that someone in some way? We respond with either words that hurt them back or the above mentioned actions. The only answer I can come up with is that it is simply human nature and its out of selfishness because we are certainly not following the example set for us by our Creator.
Even though we were disobedient, sinful, and ungrateful, God loved us anyway. He loved us so much that he sent his only son to this earth to be hated, tortured , and crucified . Jesus loved us so much that he was willing to leave heaven for us knowing what was to come. Sometimes when I think about that kind of love , it is overwhelming. As parents we yell at our kids when they run across the street without looking both ways because we don't want them to get hurt. How many of us would knowingly send our kids to slaughter? How many of us would leave our cozy homes to voluntarily be tortured and killed for someone who hated us? Well God did and Jesus did. Why? Because their response to disappointment and hurt was to show love in the most incredible way. So incredible that we can't even fit it on the unconditional scale.
The more I think about it , the harder I am trying to rip a page that from that book and establish it as my standard. Responding with love is not easy and I have failed more than I have succeeded lately but I am finding that the more I put it into practice the better at it I am becoming. I can tell you that the difference it makes is worth the extra effort.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Stop and think
A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a sex addict. I can see some of you right now sneezing BS into your hand. I too at a time in my life thought the term "sex addiction" was something used to excuse bad behavior. I did some research on sex addiction one time and I can assure you that it is real just like drug addiction. Chemically, sex creates a "high" in the body just like certain drugs do . There are different categories of sex addiction, some of them actually involve little or no sex at all.
This particular addict was a man with a wife and children. For the biggest part of his marriage he had been actively involved in betraying his vows. It all started with simple flirting but over time escalated . In the early years of his addiction he did have sex with four other women but the guilt from those acts was driving him to think of suicide so at some point he drew a line in the sand and said no more sex. The addiction did not subside and he still found himself getting caught up in a twisted world of flirting with other women. Sex wasn't his ultimate goal , his addiction was about the seduction. Once he had "won" his conquest over to the point she would have had sex with him , the game was over.
He hated himself every minute of every day but didn't have control over his addiction, instead it controlled him. He couldn't understand how he could love his wife and still betray her over and over. Even years after the line in the sand was drawn and there wasn't any more sex, suicide was always on his mind. His mission was that his wife never ever know. He knew the pain it would cause her and he wasn't willing to put her through that. I too for a short while wondered how he could do these horrible things and at the same time really love his wife. Unfortunately that is the nature of addiction, any kind of addiction. I have a really good friend that is a recovering drug addict and have spent hours talking to her about her addiction. Addiction is mean and makes you a very selfish person. Addiction will make you do things that you thought you would never do.
The point of this blog isn't to persuade you that sex addiction is real even though I believe it is. Out of everything that he told me, this is what bothers me most : ALL of the women , including the ones he had sex with knew he was married. Some of them were married themselves. Most of them knew he had children. As a married woman with children , I find that very disturbing. I don't know how many women we are talking about, I doubt he even knows. We are talking about a approximately 12 to 13 year period of time though so the number is probably staggering.
It would very easy to look at this man and judge him to be some kind of monster . Fact is though, if not for the willing participants he found, he would not have been able to feed his addiction. Think about all of those women who willingly lined up to play his game knowing that at the very least they could be potentially breaking up a marriage. Those who knew he had children , potentially destroying a family. I find all of this very sad.
I know people cheat , men and women. The statistics are depressing. As a mom and wife, I am constantly putting my husband and children's needs and wants first. I think about my actions and how they may affect other people whether I know those people well or not. I cannot imagine messing around with another woman's husband whether he had kids or not. It scares me that more woman aren't like me. I pray for this man , his wife, and all of the women who apparently didn't think hard enough about how their actions might hurt not only another woman but the kids involved.
I guess my point is this...before you do anything, even speak, stop and think about how what you say or do may affect someone else.
This particular addict was a man with a wife and children. For the biggest part of his marriage he had been actively involved in betraying his vows. It all started with simple flirting but over time escalated . In the early years of his addiction he did have sex with four other women but the guilt from those acts was driving him to think of suicide so at some point he drew a line in the sand and said no more sex. The addiction did not subside and he still found himself getting caught up in a twisted world of flirting with other women. Sex wasn't his ultimate goal , his addiction was about the seduction. Once he had "won" his conquest over to the point she would have had sex with him , the game was over.
He hated himself every minute of every day but didn't have control over his addiction, instead it controlled him. He couldn't understand how he could love his wife and still betray her over and over. Even years after the line in the sand was drawn and there wasn't any more sex, suicide was always on his mind. His mission was that his wife never ever know. He knew the pain it would cause her and he wasn't willing to put her through that. I too for a short while wondered how he could do these horrible things and at the same time really love his wife. Unfortunately that is the nature of addiction, any kind of addiction. I have a really good friend that is a recovering drug addict and have spent hours talking to her about her addiction. Addiction is mean and makes you a very selfish person. Addiction will make you do things that you thought you would never do.
The point of this blog isn't to persuade you that sex addiction is real even though I believe it is. Out of everything that he told me, this is what bothers me most : ALL of the women , including the ones he had sex with knew he was married. Some of them were married themselves. Most of them knew he had children. As a married woman with children , I find that very disturbing. I don't know how many women we are talking about, I doubt he even knows. We are talking about a approximately 12 to 13 year period of time though so the number is probably staggering.
It would very easy to look at this man and judge him to be some kind of monster . Fact is though, if not for the willing participants he found, he would not have been able to feed his addiction. Think about all of those women who willingly lined up to play his game knowing that at the very least they could be potentially breaking up a marriage. Those who knew he had children , potentially destroying a family. I find all of this very sad.
I know people cheat , men and women. The statistics are depressing. As a mom and wife, I am constantly putting my husband and children's needs and wants first. I think about my actions and how they may affect other people whether I know those people well or not. I cannot imagine messing around with another woman's husband whether he had kids or not. It scares me that more woman aren't like me. I pray for this man , his wife, and all of the women who apparently didn't think hard enough about how their actions might hurt not only another woman but the kids involved.
I guess my point is this...before you do anything, even speak, stop and think about how what you say or do may affect someone else.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Potter and clay
This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 2 “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” 3 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Jeremiah 18:1-4
Recently my preacher preached a sermon about the potter and the clay. It was so beautiful and so fitting to my life at the moment. The potter (God) puts a lump of clay upon the wheel and starts to spin it ,working it masterfully with his hands until at last we see a beautiful vessel sitting before us. Or at least to the untrained eye it looks perfect. A good potter can see and feel imperfections in a vessel that we can't. So what does the potter do? He smashes it back down and begins the task of creating a new one, a better one, a stronger one. Do you know what happens to an imperfect vessel if thrown into the fire? It explodes , and then what good is it?
A couple of weeks ago I was given some information that brought me to my knees, shook me to my core. I am not sick. I am not dying. This was something from the past that I wasn't quite sure how to handle. If you read my previous blog you know how I did handle it. There is no completely black and white answer to why this happened in the first place but now I am getting a grip on why I am only now getting this information.
God , the master potter knew. He knew that if there was ever a time in my life that I was strong enough to be cast into the fire...it is now . I am not claiming perfection, I am proclaiming my faith ! I can see how this information would have made me explode years earlier. I am not the same person spiritually that I used to be. I am new, I am better, I am stronger, and praise God I am coming out of the fire all polished and beautiful. I am a vessel ready to be filled with all the good things I am sure HE is going to fill me with.
So remember this my friends, when you are suddenly thrown into the fire...its because the potter sees no weakness and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can withstand it .
Recently my preacher preached a sermon about the potter and the clay. It was so beautiful and so fitting to my life at the moment. The potter (God) puts a lump of clay upon the wheel and starts to spin it ,working it masterfully with his hands until at last we see a beautiful vessel sitting before us. Or at least to the untrained eye it looks perfect. A good potter can see and feel imperfections in a vessel that we can't. So what does the potter do? He smashes it back down and begins the task of creating a new one, a better one, a stronger one. Do you know what happens to an imperfect vessel if thrown into the fire? It explodes , and then what good is it?
A couple of weeks ago I was given some information that brought me to my knees, shook me to my core. I am not sick. I am not dying. This was something from the past that I wasn't quite sure how to handle. If you read my previous blog you know how I did handle it. There is no completely black and white answer to why this happened in the first place but now I am getting a grip on why I am only now getting this information.
God , the master potter knew. He knew that if there was ever a time in my life that I was strong enough to be cast into the fire...it is now . I am not claiming perfection, I am proclaiming my faith ! I can see how this information would have made me explode years earlier. I am not the same person spiritually that I used to be. I am new, I am better, I am stronger, and praise God I am coming out of the fire all polished and beautiful. I am a vessel ready to be filled with all the good things I am sure HE is going to fill me with.
So remember this my friends, when you are suddenly thrown into the fire...its because the potter sees no weakness and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can withstand it .
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Climbing out of the hole
At this time last week I was in a hole. Of course I am not being literal here, I had not physically fallen into a hole in the earth, but it felt the same. It was dark and cold and I was trying to find a footing to climb out when all of the sudden my hole caved in on top of me. I fell to the bottom of the hole and couldn't fathom how I might climb back out. The reason why I was in that hole , the details, don't matter. Its different for all of us. Something I may handle just fine might push someone else into the same kind of hole . What matters is that when I hit the bottom, I was bruised, shaken, and scared. What matters is how I managed to stand in the darkness and begin to work my way back up to flat ground where there is sure footing and the warmth of the sunshine on my face.
I speak of my faith often. I am proud of my relationship with my Lord, its my passion, my life, and my strength. Without HIM I am nothing and most assuredly without HIM this last week I would still be curled in a fetal position at the bottom of that deep dark hole .
The first thing that I did when I hit bottom was call a friend who is also strong in faith. No matter how much faith I think I have, it doesn't hurt to have someone around who has just as much. It never hurts to have support and encouragement from someone who genuinely loves you and will pray for you. It never hurts to have someone hold your hand or give a hug while you are hurting.
The next thing I did was pray. That sounds easy but at the time I wasn't even sure what to pray for. So I had to rely on what my Bible tells me in Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. I prayed for hours, at times with words, at times with weeping. God knew my heart, HE felt my pain. He filled me with peace and strength to face what was ahead, the climbing out of the hole.
I will not lie, my hole was deep and it took awhile to find a foothold. There were moments when I slipped and fell back down and had to start all over again. There were moments when I froze in fear and had to shake myself back to the task at hand. Just as I thought I might be almost to the top, I would just as Peter did as he was walking out on that water to meet Jesus, doubted and had to reach for HIS hand.
For the rest of this week I have immersed myself into HIS word. I have spent hours reading my Bible, coming to an understanding as to where that hole came from and how I fell into it to begin with. I have held on to the promises contained within it to fill me with peace and strength for my days and rest for my nights.I have indeed made my way to the top of the hole and climbed out. The sunshine is warming my face and even though my legs are tired from all that climbing , they are feeling much stronger now. I haven't walked away from the hole yet. I am still standing there looking at it, amazed that I made it out alive. I pray someday very soon I can turn around and walk away never to see it again. Until then, I will continue to lean on my friends, pray, and read my Bible so that don't fall back into that very same hole again.
I speak of my faith often. I am proud of my relationship with my Lord, its my passion, my life, and my strength. Without HIM I am nothing and most assuredly without HIM this last week I would still be curled in a fetal position at the bottom of that deep dark hole .
The first thing that I did when I hit bottom was call a friend who is also strong in faith. No matter how much faith I think I have, it doesn't hurt to have someone around who has just as much. It never hurts to have support and encouragement from someone who genuinely loves you and will pray for you. It never hurts to have someone hold your hand or give a hug while you are hurting.
The next thing I did was pray. That sounds easy but at the time I wasn't even sure what to pray for. So I had to rely on what my Bible tells me in Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. I prayed for hours, at times with words, at times with weeping. God knew my heart, HE felt my pain. He filled me with peace and strength to face what was ahead, the climbing out of the hole.
I will not lie, my hole was deep and it took awhile to find a foothold. There were moments when I slipped and fell back down and had to start all over again. There were moments when I froze in fear and had to shake myself back to the task at hand. Just as I thought I might be almost to the top, I would just as Peter did as he was walking out on that water to meet Jesus, doubted and had to reach for HIS hand.
For the rest of this week I have immersed myself into HIS word. I have spent hours reading my Bible, coming to an understanding as to where that hole came from and how I fell into it to begin with. I have held on to the promises contained within it to fill me with peace and strength for my days and rest for my nights.I have indeed made my way to the top of the hole and climbed out. The sunshine is warming my face and even though my legs are tired from all that climbing , they are feeling much stronger now. I haven't walked away from the hole yet. I am still standing there looking at it, amazed that I made it out alive. I pray someday very soon I can turn around and walk away never to see it again. Until then, I will continue to lean on my friends, pray, and read my Bible so that don't fall back into that very same hole again.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Epic Fail
This week has sucked ! There aren't many times in my life that I have wished I could rewind and have a do-over but I do right now. Cara started running a fever and feeling bad on Sunday afternoon but by bedtime Sunday night the fever had broken and all seemed well. She felt fine most of the day Monday and she and I attended her open house . She was nervous but excited about her first day of school on Wednesday. After coming back home , her fever returned and her throat started hurting. Tuesday morning brought a trip to Mount Airy middle to pick up Ben's schedule and meet his teachers and then a trip to Northern Peds for a strep test which was positive.Cara was going to miss her first day of school. Not just any ole day of school but her first day of school at a new school. New teacher, new schedule, new classmates, new building, new everything. So while most kids there have known each other since kindergarten, she was the new kid. And while everybody was there on the first day adjusting to the fifth grade and learning where they were supposed to be and when, Cara was home with me.
I walked her into the building Thursday morning and left her in the hands of her principal who walked her to class since she had missed her first day. Around 9am I got a call from the school nurse who had Cara in her office not feeling well. Physically Cara was fine but she was having a rough morning. She had missed a bunch of information and just simply felt lost. The nurse kept her there for awhile to allow her to pull herself together before throwing her back to the wolves. By the time I picked her up, she was eating a cupcake , had made some new friends and was doing so much better. Somewhere between that moment and bedtime last night, she regressed . There was a meltdown of sorts before bed with some crying and begging me to not send her back. As a parent I hate to see my children in any kind of pain, physically or emotionally . I HATE to be the bad guy. I tried my best to reassure her that by this time next week she will have made tons of new friends and would know everything there was to know about where things are and what she was supposed to be doing, and then I sent her back to bed.
Friday morning : Ben has been out late with his daddy playing music every night this week. Some would say that is irresponsible knowing that this is his first week of school but I say he has been spending quality time with his daddy and making memories and that is more important. Anyway, I was aware that it might be hard for him to get up and had made an effort to be very patient with him. I made 4 trips into his room to rouse him and when he finally got up he was upset that he had slept so late. Mind you, I had been working to wake him for 30 minutes before his feet actualy hit the floor. Meanwhile I had been dealing with another meltdown by my other child who had apparently cried herself to sleep and had woken up with a headache and swollen eyes and didn't want to go to school. Both children made it to school on time but not without Mommy having a small breakdown in the driveway before leaving. Cara called at lunch and wanted me to bring her an Ibuprofen for the headache she still had. When I picked her up from school she said that her head had hurt all day, she had feel asleep during library time and had not felt like even eating lunch. I have to say that I was very happy to pull into the driveway with both children in the van knowing that the first week of school was officially behind us.
Cara did eat supper but I could tell that she just didn't feel good. After Eric and Ben left for Galax we talked about her headache and I believe that she just may have a migrane. I sent my child to school with a migrane! We layed down on my bed and both of us slept for 2 1/2 hours, which put us awaking at 8pm or so and then she went to her bed at 9 and hasn't gotten back up. I can only hope and pray that she feels better tomorrow morning.
Eric took yesterday and today off work so yesterday I was lazy and just kinda hung out with him. Contrary to what some may think, being a stay at home mommy and wife does not include laying around all day , watching tv, and playing on Facebook. I just couldn't stand doing nothing again all day so I did my usual thing. I swept, mopped, cleaned toilets, scrubbed the tub and shower walls, and did some laundry. Eric left the house at about 12:30 to buy some batteries and a few other things . He called around 1:00 and asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch. I turned him down ! What ? I rarely get the opportunity to go out with my husband without kids and I turn him down? I wasn't hungry so I said no . It wasn't til later that I smacked myself for that one. He had been home most of the day and I spent most of the day cleaning house and turning down a lunch date with my husband.
This whole week has been an all around epic fail. I most certainly have not earned a mommy or wife of the week award . Apparently I won't be winning the friend of the week award either because I forgot a friends birthday this week. I would use the "Facebook didn't tell me " defense but thats really not a defense at all. She had mentioned it earler this week and truth is I just plain forgot.
It is after midnight now so I can say "Thank God this week is over" . I can only pray that next week is better
I walked her into the building Thursday morning and left her in the hands of her principal who walked her to class since she had missed her first day. Around 9am I got a call from the school nurse who had Cara in her office not feeling well. Physically Cara was fine but she was having a rough morning. She had missed a bunch of information and just simply felt lost. The nurse kept her there for awhile to allow her to pull herself together before throwing her back to the wolves. By the time I picked her up, she was eating a cupcake , had made some new friends and was doing so much better. Somewhere between that moment and bedtime last night, she regressed . There was a meltdown of sorts before bed with some crying and begging me to not send her back. As a parent I hate to see my children in any kind of pain, physically or emotionally . I HATE to be the bad guy. I tried my best to reassure her that by this time next week she will have made tons of new friends and would know everything there was to know about where things are and what she was supposed to be doing, and then I sent her back to bed.
Friday morning : Ben has been out late with his daddy playing music every night this week. Some would say that is irresponsible knowing that this is his first week of school but I say he has been spending quality time with his daddy and making memories and that is more important. Anyway, I was aware that it might be hard for him to get up and had made an effort to be very patient with him. I made 4 trips into his room to rouse him and when he finally got up he was upset that he had slept so late. Mind you, I had been working to wake him for 30 minutes before his feet actualy hit the floor. Meanwhile I had been dealing with another meltdown by my other child who had apparently cried herself to sleep and had woken up with a headache and swollen eyes and didn't want to go to school. Both children made it to school on time but not without Mommy having a small breakdown in the driveway before leaving. Cara called at lunch and wanted me to bring her an Ibuprofen for the headache she still had. When I picked her up from school she said that her head had hurt all day, she had feel asleep during library time and had not felt like even eating lunch. I have to say that I was very happy to pull into the driveway with both children in the van knowing that the first week of school was officially behind us.
Cara did eat supper but I could tell that she just didn't feel good. After Eric and Ben left for Galax we talked about her headache and I believe that she just may have a migrane. I sent my child to school with a migrane! We layed down on my bed and both of us slept for 2 1/2 hours, which put us awaking at 8pm or so and then she went to her bed at 9 and hasn't gotten back up. I can only hope and pray that she feels better tomorrow morning.
Eric took yesterday and today off work so yesterday I was lazy and just kinda hung out with him. Contrary to what some may think, being a stay at home mommy and wife does not include laying around all day , watching tv, and playing on Facebook. I just couldn't stand doing nothing again all day so I did my usual thing. I swept, mopped, cleaned toilets, scrubbed the tub and shower walls, and did some laundry. Eric left the house at about 12:30 to buy some batteries and a few other things . He called around 1:00 and asked me if I wanted to go out for lunch. I turned him down ! What ? I rarely get the opportunity to go out with my husband without kids and I turn him down? I wasn't hungry so I said no . It wasn't til later that I smacked myself for that one. He had been home most of the day and I spent most of the day cleaning house and turning down a lunch date with my husband.
This whole week has been an all around epic fail. I most certainly have not earned a mommy or wife of the week award . Apparently I won't be winning the friend of the week award either because I forgot a friends birthday this week. I would use the "Facebook didn't tell me " defense but thats really not a defense at all. She had mentioned it earler this week and truth is I just plain forgot.
It is after midnight now so I can say "Thank God this week is over" . I can only pray that next week is better
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Its all good
A couple of weeks ago I posted about the company my husband works for closing down. I made the comment that I wasn't stressing about the situation but rather giving it to God and resting on HIS promises to take care of us. Several people publicly and privately have commented on the peace I have about all of this amid the chaos that this has caused in our lives.
Immediately after the closing was announced , Eric started getting job offers. Let me be clear, Eric really hasn't had to do anything. People have came to him. Finding a job wasn't going to be the issue. Finding a job in Mount Airy making the money he was making with Clark was. NONE of the jobs he was being offered didn't even come close and NONE came with ANY benefits except maybe the opportunity for overtime. Even though technically he could stay with with Clark til September, He wanted out and I can't blame him. Conditions were getting stupid and it isn't a good working environment.
I applied for a job early last week that would have solved a multitude of problems only to find out that that job wasn't open any longer. I have applied for several others and if I get an offer I will most certainly take it.
I said all of that to say this...here is the reason that I do not stress when my world gets all crazy and out of control. God answered a prayer in a massive way today. Eric was hours away from calling and accepting one of those previously offered jobs when he was offered yet another. When you give something to God and truly let him work , HE WILL come through every time. When you trust in HIM as I do HE WILL work things out even better than we would have ourselves. This job offer with bonuses will put him making MORE than he does right now and comes with benefits even though I think we have decided to buy our own private insurance after he seperates from the military in July.
When he called me I was in a public place and I just started to cry. When I hung up with my mouth open and with tears streaming down my face I took a minute and right where I was offered up a thank you to God . A couple of weeks ago I finished a post by saying "Its all good my friends, its all good." Well friends, its all good.
Immediately after the closing was announced , Eric started getting job offers. Let me be clear, Eric really hasn't had to do anything. People have came to him. Finding a job wasn't going to be the issue. Finding a job in Mount Airy making the money he was making with Clark was. NONE of the jobs he was being offered didn't even come close and NONE came with ANY benefits except maybe the opportunity for overtime. Even though technically he could stay with with Clark til September, He wanted out and I can't blame him. Conditions were getting stupid and it isn't a good working environment.
I applied for a job early last week that would have solved a multitude of problems only to find out that that job wasn't open any longer. I have applied for several others and if I get an offer I will most certainly take it.
I said all of that to say this...here is the reason that I do not stress when my world gets all crazy and out of control. God answered a prayer in a massive way today. Eric was hours away from calling and accepting one of those previously offered jobs when he was offered yet another. When you give something to God and truly let him work , HE WILL come through every time. When you trust in HIM as I do HE WILL work things out even better than we would have ourselves. This job offer with bonuses will put him making MORE than he does right now and comes with benefits even though I think we have decided to buy our own private insurance after he seperates from the military in July.
When he called me I was in a public place and I just started to cry. When I hung up with my mouth open and with tears streaming down my face I took a minute and right where I was offered up a thank you to God . A couple of weeks ago I finished a post by saying "Its all good my friends, its all good." Well friends, its all good.
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