The game of pool is racist

     On the way home from dropping the kids off at school I was listening to a discussion on the radio about racism in this country. This is my soapbox moment for the day. Yes there is racism in this country...by ALL of the colors that call this country home. Racism is ugly, mean, and born out of hate. It is my personal opinion that if you are a racist , you cannot possibly have the love of God in your heart. I am not going to pretend that I have all of the answers but let me tell you a story.
     A couple of weeks ago my family spent 3 days at the KOA campground in Fancy Gap VA. Saturday evening of that weekend was rainy so Eric and Ben spent some time in the clubhouse playing pool and video games.There was an african american boy in the game room that was around Ben's age, maybe a little younger. Within minutes he had declared the game of pool racist. There is only one black ball, therefore, it is racist. Never mind that there are ZERO totally white balls. The company that produces the white chair in the corner? Obviously racist because the chair was white. Do you see where I am headed?
     I don't blame him. Black, white, yellow, children aren't born knowing racism. I blame the people raising this child .I imagine that he has been taught for as many years as he could understand language that racism is the hearts of everyone, apparently, even the inventor of the game of pool and the owner of the company that produces white chairs. I find this very disturbing and dangerous. He didn't say this but I would say that even though he had just met Eric and Ben that he made the judgement that they were racist and he was waiting for some sort of comment to prove him right.
     I am not a perfect parent and someone please correct me if I am wrong. If a child is taught from an early age that all people who aren't the same color as them are racist, isn't that what they are ALWAYS going to look for, and if they can't find it, manufacture it? The simple definition of racism is : the hatred or intolerance of another race. Again correct me if I am wrong but isn't what these parents are teaching this young man not racist ideas in and of themselves?
     Sadly, I can almost predict this child's future. At some point he is going to spout his nonsense to a white individual who is going to recognize it for the foolishness that it is. He will get punched in the face and the white individual will be charged with  a hate crime. If that same white individual punched another white individual in the face for spouting nonsense he would only be charged with assault. There goes that whole treating all races equally idea huh?

The rain wins AGAIN

     Anybody who reads my posts on Facebook knows how much I have hated the rain this summer. This is the longest summer vacation that I can remember my children ever having . The beach was just not meant to be so my plan was to fit in as much pool time as I possibly could . I can count on ONE hand the number of times we actually got to stay at the pool as long as we wanted. The days it wasn't raining and the pool was open it was a matter of about an hour before a storm would pop up and we would be kicked out . The rain wins.
     Eric worked hours and spent quite a bit of $ planting a garden. I tried, I really did try to keep the garden weeded.We just couldn't stay ahead of the rain. I managed to pull enough tomatoes out to make 4 pints of salsa. There are 30 short ears of corn in the freezer and we had 2 squash that survived. No beans, no watermelon, no cantaloupe and the potatoes are more than likely rotted in the ground. The rain wins.
     Well over a month ago I made reservations to go camping this past weekend. Camping is not my favorite thing in the world but the rest of my crew does does so I suck it up and make the best of it. We do NOT tent camp. Very early in our marriage Eric and I paid $600 for a pop up camper that has been well worth the money we paid for it. It's not huge by any imagination. It sleeps 4 of us comfortably, has a small stovetop, tiny refrigerator, and a some storage compartments. That's it. No bathroom or running water. We loaded up Friday afternoon and headed to Fancy Gap KOA for the weekend.
     By the time the camper was set up , the sky was cloudy. It was cool and I couldn't help thinking how nice it would be if it would just stay that way and not rain how wonderful the weekend would be. Eric and Ben fished while Cara and I headed to the pool. The water was like ice so I was just fine to sit and watch her splash around . After the evening meal, Ben and Eric played some music in the clubhouse with some friends that came up to jam. Cara and I drove back down the mountain to take the dogs out and grab some stuff that we had forgotten.Saturday morning Eric drove home to get the dogs so they could experience camping too. By the time we had them settled in it was raining, not hard at first , just sprinkling. For several hours Eric and the kids fished in the rain while me and dogs watched . Around lunch time the real rain moved in , pouring , soaking everything, forcing the four of us and 2 dogs into the small camper . No fishing, no swimming, no walking around, no campfire, just sitting around in the camper. That makes for good quality family time for sure but none of the fun stuff that camping is supposed to be.
      That batch of rain lasted until after lunch on Sunday. The sky was still clouded and the sun only peeked through a handful of times but there wasn't drops of water actively falling from the sky for about 7 hours. We actually got to eat our hot dogs and hamburgers outside around the picnic table. Smores were made for the first time since we had been there and I was allowed to sit around a roaring campfire for about 45 minutes. The roaring campfire and smores are my favorite part of camping. I had 45 minutes and then the sky opened up again and dropped heavy soaking rain for the rest of the night and was still pouring when we awoke this morning.
     There is nothing fun about waking up at 1 am and having to trudge through puddles that you can't even see in the dark, with an umbrella, to walk to the bathroom because you have to pee. There is nothing fun about not having a totally dry spot to sit. There is nothing fun about being wet for the better part of 2 days. The rain wins ...AGAIN.
     There were moments that warmed my heart despite all the rain. Ben learned how to take his fish off the hook this year. Cara actually enjoyed fishing this time. Even if it was brief, I did get my roaring campfire and smores.

I believe differently than you

     There are several reasons that I blog. Sometimes it is to record a memory . Other times it is to share my life. Still other times it is to vent. After all, it is my blog and I can say what I want to. I often share the link to my words on Facebook since I have more Facebook friends than blog followers.You have been put on notice : this post is a vent / rant . I may lose some friends over this one. You know what ? I really don't care. After all, this is my blog and I can say what I want to.
     Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down a few rulings regarding same sex marriage. Within hours I was seeing posts that included words such as love, hate, respect, compassion, judgemental, and rights.I do NOT support same sex marriage and apparently that automatically makes me a hateful, judgemental bigot incapable of respect, love, and compassion. That's funny because I thought that just made me simply a person who thinks / believes differently than someone who does support same sex marriage. I am the queen of multitasking. I can disagree with someone and love them, show compassion for them, and treat them with respect all at the same time. The fact that I have been married for 17 years is proof of that.So for all of the supporters of same sex marriage out there, this one is for you.
     I believe differently than you. You have fought for your "right" to believe as you do and this is me fighting for mine. I still love you. I do not consume alcoholic beverages but I am fully capable of loving , having compassion for, and showing respect for some one who chooses to. I love bacon but I am fully capable of loving, having compassion for, and showing respect for vegetarians. Secretly I am probably gonna think you are crazy for not eating bacon but I promise not to shout that from the rooftops. Point is, I am capable of disagreeing with how you live your life and still able to love you, have compassion for you, and treat you with respect. I simply believe differently than you do. How does that make ME the bad guy? And that really is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to come down to "rights".
     So, lets go there. I have come to despise the word "rights". Because we live in the "land of the free", everyone has this idea that they have all these "rights". Why? Because of this piece of paper called the Constitution. Newsflash: These "rights" were thought of and penned by men . They have been amended and infringed upon by men over the years to suit the thoughts of the majority. We have come to believe that we have certain "guaranteed ( and I use that term loosely) rights". Guess what ? The moment I was born, I was given the right to breathe as long as God chooses to allow me to. When HE chooses to take that right away, I cease to breathe and therefore I die. That is really truly the one and only right that we as human beings have and we have no control of it.
     This is not me trying to change your position nor am I going to change mine. I believe differently than you. So if you think that automatically makes me a hateful bigot, then who is the one really being judgemental here? I believe differently than you. I didn't call you names. So then who is the one really being hateful here?I believe differently than you. If you can't love me, have compassion for me, and treat me with respect for that reason, delete me. The end.

    

I said "I do " ...again

     My 17th wedding anniversary was this past Saturday. Most days I cannot believe that 17 years have passed since I married my husband. Other days I feel every single moment. We have survived two babies, 3 moves, more vehicles than I care to count, bad jobs, a 14 month deployment, and many mistakes. Real world marriage rarely resembles a fairy tale. I may have found my prince charming. We may indeed live ever after but the happily part is harder than it looks in books and on the big screen.
     Scattered in among the happiness has come anger, disappointment, and hurt. Those moments aren't the ones that we want to live in our memories forever. However, it's those moments that God, in his infinite wisdom, used to make our marriage stronger. It's those moments that after they are over have made me love my husband that much more. It's those moments that have made me appreciate the happy ones. I loved my husband the day I married him and didn't think it possible that I could ever love him more. Yet, I continue to fall in love with him over and over again. I am not sure if it's despite what we have been through or because of it. 
     At the very end of 2011 Eric and I discussed renewing our vows in 2012. Life got in the way , months passed and it just didn't get planned. Looking back , I can see that it wasn't just busy lives or laziness that kept the planning from taking place. It was God. I guess God had to make sure we were strong enough to weather the next 17 years before allowing us to take that plunge again, so He tested us. In retrospect almost the entire year was a gigantic test, not just a test of our marriage but a test of my faith.In fact I believe the last 4 years or so has been strategically designed by the Master to turn me into a warrior. I can say with absolute certainty that my marriage has withstood some storms that statistics say it should not have.
     By January of this year, it was obvious that we had passed the test and that we had HIS blessing to do as we had planned a year before. We didn't want a big audience. This was really just for us, not for show. There were only 8 in attendance , Eric, me, our children, my best friend, her husband , and their 2 children. We met on their back porch, exchanged vows that we had written and Eric sang a song that he had written for the occasion. The entire thing was simple, beautiful, and I cried the entire time. Afterwards we grilled some hot dogs and hamburgers and enjoyed each other's company for several hours.
     The next morning we dropped the kids off at friend's houses and we spent two uninterrupted days in Cherokee together, reliving old memories and making new ones. I do not know what God has planned for tomorrow, much less for years down the road. I do know this: God surely means for me to be with this man and for him to be with me.

As long as we're together

     I spent the majority of last week planning a road trip to the Blowing Rock area. The plan was to go to Grandfather Mountain one day and Linville Caverns the next. Thursday morning I checked the weather forecast and decided that 42 degrees was a little too cold for traipsing through the mountains so I decided that south we would go. I had been promising my kids that we would go to Carowinds and was excited to see on the website that Friday was opening day. Not only that, if I bought the tickets that day they were only $29.99, saving me $68 just for admission alone. I bought and printed the tickets and we were up bright and early Friday morning on our way to warmer fun.
     We pulled into the parking lot and saw a massive line . With pre printed tickets in hand I walked to the admission gate only to realize that the massive line was for those holding pre printed tickets. About 20 minutes into waiting we came to a Carowinds employee whose sole job was to check your tickets to make sure you were in the correct line. He looked and verified that we were. 20 more minutes and we come to a table where again someone checks our tickets and waves us on . 20 more minutes ( an hour into the line) and we finally come to a scanning station or what appears to be our way in, and the lady looks at our tickets and announces to me that we are in the wrong line. We were in the season pass registration line and we needed to be in the general admission line which by the way was almost empty when we had arrived. So basically what she was saying was this : we could have been inside the park an hour earlier and my screaming bladder could have been emptied 60 minutes before it was. It was all I could do to hold it together and just say thank you and move on.
     The first priority was to go to the top of the needle and look around to see what we all wanted to do. Cara saw a roller coaster that interested her but the only things Ben and Eric saw was a go cart track. We rode the Hurler and then straight lined to the go cart track which isn't included in park admission. Cara and I rode one more roller coaster which wasn't what I would call exciting. I could only drag Eric and Ben away from the go cart track long enough to watch a 3D dinosaur movie and lunch. We ended the day by riding the scrambler which you can find at any local carnival or fair. We go to Carowinds, spend $125 to get in and nobody in my family will even ride Thunder Road with me. I have made the executive decision that we will not be going back to Carowinds any time soon.
     We rested our weary bones at a local Sleep Inn and was back at it Saturday morning. Since go carting was the most loved activity the day before, we spent our day at Adventure Landing. The spring break special was 3 hours of unlimited go carting, mini golf, and bumper boats for a single price. For the next 3 hours we drove , putted, and floated. Knowing what I know now, it would have been way more cost effective to spend both days there .We finished the day grazing the buffet at Golden Corral and came back home to sleep in our own beds.
      Things may not always go as planned, my family may not always agree on how to spend our time together , but the time spent together is priceless.

The stupid man and the dishwasher

     I recently sat down with some women and had a meal. I don't know these women very well.We just happened to be in the same place at the same time. One of them starts a new topic by saying "I wish you could have seen how (insert husband's name) loaded the dishwasher this weekend. He's so incredibly stupid." And so the husband bashing began . His crime wasn't infidelity or wife beating. His crime? He didn't load the dishwasher to her standards. SERIOUSLY? The sad part was that for the rest of the meal these women verbally tore apart their husbands like they were a piece of paper.
     My husband is not perfect, no where close. I have been married for almost 17 years and there have been times when I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the breath out of him. Has he done stupid things? You bethcha. Have I ever confided in a friend about those things? Yep ! What I don't so is drag him through the proverbial mud. I am not perfect and I don't expect him to be. EVERYONE makes mistakes. EVERYONE makes bad choices on occasion. NO marriage is rainbows and unicorns all the time. Life is NOT a fairy tale. We ALL do stupid stupid things at times. We ALL get hurt sooner or later and we ALL hurt someone we love sooner or later.We are ALL human, imperfect beings and I don't understand how some people can be so stinkin mean .
     I am beginning to think that I am an oddity. I believe in vows, the whole through good AND bad, in sickness AND health, til death do us part stuff. I believe in happy endings. I believe in being HAPPILY married not just married.And most importantly I believe that if you aren't happy you need to figure out how to fix it. If it can't be fixed, and sometimes it can't, then get out but as a last resort, not the first option.
     So here's a thought...instead of tearing your husband down in public, build him up at home. Instead of disrespecting him to everyone who will listen, talk to him privately. Instead of judging every little stupid thing he does, step back and judge your own heart. Instead of focusing on what he does wrong, focus on what he does right. Or how about just being overjoyed that your husband would even load the dishwasher?
     Rant over...carry on.

Using the power of deception for good

     My last blog post was all about the horrors of my van and trying to buy a car. I thought I would take a little time to explain a few things. Patterson Dodge only had one used Charger in stock and it wasn't what I wanted. Kernersville Dodge had more than one that I was interested in but we didn't want to have to go that far. We did find an illegally opened account on Eric's credit report. All of those things were truth. The rest was what I was led to believe so my husband could pull off the biggest good surprise of our married life.
     Eric was out of town Monday and and Tuesday but first thing Wednesday morning amid talking to a score of people about the credit ooops was also taking to Patterson Dodge. He got the loan process started and by Wednesday afternoon was given the go ahead at which time he told them exactly which Charger we wanted from Kernersville. All the while he was telling me that the fraud was going to slow things down. To throw me off even more he told me that the Charger that we wanted from Kernersville was not available anymore. Well, that part was true because by Wednesday afternoon, Patterson had already made arrangements to send someone the next morning to pick it up. Wednesday night after church while I was inside chatting with friends he was outside unplugging a spark plug wire so my van would drive badly on the way home. He knew that I would never drive it like that and it gave him an excuse to get it away from the house so he could trade it the next afternoon.
     He called me about 2:45 Thursday afternoon to let me know that he was headed over to Patterson so they could hook it up to their machine and see what it would say about the flashing check engine light only to call me about 10 minutes later asking me where I kept my registration. He said he had been pulled over by a state trooper. While it was true that a state trooper was indeed standing beside of him when he said it, it wasn't because he got pulled over, he just needed the registration.About 30 minutes later I hear a car in the driveway. From looking out of an upstairs window all I could tell was that it wasn't my van sitting in the driveway, thinking that they just allowed him to drive something home because they decided that the van wouldn't make it.
    I meet him at the bottom of the steps to question him about getting pulled over and he says that he needs me to go back over to Patterson with him. I glance outside and it doesn't register. I figure he wants me to follow him back over there to give them their car back.I glance outside again and realize it is a Charger. Still doesn't register . "Wait a minute, where did that one come from?" I ask. He answers, "Kernersville Dodge." Still doesn't register. Then he says "Its yours." At that point I think I yelled "shut up" or "NO" as it sank in and I was fighting the ugly cry. All that was left was to dig out the title for the van and finalize the paperwork. I was so all to pieces that I couldn't even drive us over there so it was later Thursday evening before I was calm enough to drive my most favorite car EVER.
Well played husband of mine, well played.