That hurt

     Way back in April I saw a gyno/obgyn for some female issues . At that point in time we discussed treatment options and he did a uterine wall biopsy. Now I have had a lot of unpleasant procedures performed on my body but that biopsy was by far the most painful experience I have ever had. Its kinda like a labor contraction but with a few differences. The intensity is the same but unlike a labor contraction that lasts approximately a minute this lasts as long as there is an invader in the uterus. Also unlike a labor contraction its not one long tightening and then relaxing of the uterus. This is the uterus madly going into spasm after spasm.
     I decided upon a procedure called Novasure , which is simply burning the lining of the uterus. He explained that it was in effect the same procedure as the biopsy with the only difference being the instrument used, the length of the procedure , and the fact that there would be pain meds on board.. He said I could choose to have it in a hospital setting and essentially be knocked out or in an office setting with serious happy medicine on board. Most insurances do not cover the hospital setting because of the length of the procedure and the extra $10,000 for knocking you out. He assured me that the office procedure was the way to go and that it wouldn't hurt like the biopsy. Well, he lied.
      I had 4 prescriptions with me yesterday when I arrived at the office. I had a valium, some vicotin, some 800 mg motrin, and some phenergran. About 30 minutes before the procedure I took the valium, a vicotin, and received an injection of toradol. I was feeling pretty good by the time my legs were put into those dreaded stirrups. As he injects some numbing meds into my cervix (ouch) he assured me that this is the worst part. He lied.
     I did not feel the burning of the lining of my uterus. However just as with the biopsy , my uterus begins the mad spasms that would make anybody curl up in a ball and cry like a baby. This goes on for 3 minutes which feels like 3 hours when you are the one lying on the table paralyzed in pain and squeezing a blue rubber ball. I tried desperately to go to my happy place but to no avail. I did not cry nor did I yell or curse although I wanted too. And then it was over.It was only then that I could find my voice to whisper, " Thank God I had c-sections." Again he assures me that the contractions are different and that I did well and he thinks I would have done excellent with a vaginal birth. No matter, that part of my life is over and I will never find out.
     The ride home is uneventful, just some mild cramping . Upon arriving home the toradol apparently wears off and I am slammed with this horrific pain that does not subside. This time I did curl up in a ball and cry, for 40 minutes. At the end of the 40 minutes I could take another dose of pain meds but it was another 30 or so before the pain was tolerable and I was able to fall into a coma like state and escape my torturous day. \
     It is morning of the next day now and I haven't had pain since that first dose of pain meds yesterday afternoon . I feel fine right now . I have a few restrictions but they aren't too bad.. I can expect some messy drainage for anywhere from 10 days to 3 weeks. I won't know for awhile how successful this was but I am praying that it will be worth what I had to go through yesterday.