For Christmas 2012 my husband wrote me a love letter and it was , my most favorite, bestest gift ever. It also inspired me to do something very special for him. I started a list of things that I love about him and things that he does that I love. I wrote them out on regular notebook paper and cut it into strips.The first 150 or so flowed out onto paper like lava and then it became a little challenging. The plan was that every day in 2013 he would receive one of these strips. I recycled a container to keep them in so that at the end of the year they are all in one place. On Valentine's day he gave me a fat envelope that contained 45 love strips to catch up and joined me in the daily ritual of the giving of "love strips" before retiring for the day. The year is almost over and I have to say that I am going to miss this little ritual.
Starting a list like this is easy. Some of the first ones are obvious things like #2 I love that you make me feel safe or #4 I love that you still hold my hand. Some were funny like #75 I love that you let me put my cold feet on your legs to warm them or #89 I love that you don't complain about how many times you have to stop for me to pee on long trips. Some were serious like #109 I love that you never leave without first giving me a kiss and an "I love you"or #114 I love that I can't remember what it's like to not love you.There are the ones that came about because of something he did that particular day such as #134 I love when you tell me I am pretty especially when I don't feel like it or #170 I love when you come home for lunch. Then there are the ones that I cannot share because they are naughty and for his eyes only.
The point is this : Eric has always been the husband that tells me many times a day that he loves me. I have always told him many times a day that I love him. I wanted to switch it up a little and tell him WHY I loved him. As a bonus , now I know WHY he loves me too.This has been fun. It has been revealing. It has been good for us in ways that I can't even explain. If you want to do something special for your spouse, something meaningful that will show them your love , I highly recommend you start a list. January 1st is just around the corner.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
20 Random facts about me
20 Random facts about me that most people do not know
1. I wasn't a big fan of high school.
2. I worked for Walmart for 11 years. My husband worked for Walmart too. That is how we met.
3. My husband almost didn't ask me out. He was afraid of me. I wasn't as nice as I am now.
4. My husband and I only dated for 6 months before we got engaged.
5. We never took a proper and official honeymoon.
6. Two weeks after the birth of my son, I hemorrhaged and thought I might bleed to death in my bathroom floor.
7. The most content I have ever been was a period of time that we rented a house that is 1/3 the size of the house we currently live in.
8. I am fiercely loyal to people I love.
9. In general I am a patient person but I struggle with road rage.
10. I hate shoes, will wear flip flops until there is ice or snow on the ground, and even the flops come off as soon as I walk in my front door.
11. I do the majority of our clothing shopping at Goodwill and care nothing about name brands. I just refuse to pay more than $5 for a t-shirt.
12. My longest running friendship dates back to early elementary school.
13. I am a homebody...my home is my favorite place to be.
14. I would rather do any other household chore , even cleaning toilets, rather than laundry.
15. God has given me an enormous forgiving heart and spirit.
16. I am shamelessly addicted to Diet Cherry Pepsi
17.I rarely watch any tv show in real time. I DVR it and watch it later so I can skip the commercials.
18. I LOVE to sleep.
19. If you stop by my house unannounced , you will probably find me in my pajamas.
20. I am happier right now with my life than I have ever been.
1. I wasn't a big fan of high school.
2. I worked for Walmart for 11 years. My husband worked for Walmart too. That is how we met.
3. My husband almost didn't ask me out. He was afraid of me. I wasn't as nice as I am now.
4. My husband and I only dated for 6 months before we got engaged.
5. We never took a proper and official honeymoon.
6. Two weeks after the birth of my son, I hemorrhaged and thought I might bleed to death in my bathroom floor.
7. The most content I have ever been was a period of time that we rented a house that is 1/3 the size of the house we currently live in.
8. I am fiercely loyal to people I love.
9. In general I am a patient person but I struggle with road rage.
10. I hate shoes, will wear flip flops until there is ice or snow on the ground, and even the flops come off as soon as I walk in my front door.
11. I do the majority of our clothing shopping at Goodwill and care nothing about name brands. I just refuse to pay more than $5 for a t-shirt.
12. My longest running friendship dates back to early elementary school.
13. I am a homebody...my home is my favorite place to be.
14. I would rather do any other household chore , even cleaning toilets, rather than laundry.
15. God has given me an enormous forgiving heart and spirit.
16. I am shamelessly addicted to Diet Cherry Pepsi
17.I rarely watch any tv show in real time. I DVR it and watch it later so I can skip the commercials.
18. I LOVE to sleep.
19. If you stop by my house unannounced , you will probably find me in my pajamas.
20. I am happier right now with my life than I have ever been.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Choking down some humble pie
I worked in retail for 11 years so I became a very patient customer. I understand that it is not the cashier's fault that an item did not scan correctly. I know that it is not her responsibility to count the customers in her line and open another lane. Her job is to wait on the customer in front of her in an efficient and friendly manner, one after another until it's break time. Cashiers are human. They stand for hours repeating the same motions over and over and over. They don't make near enough money for the job they do and the abuse they take from rude people. No matter how long I have waited in line, I try my best to give a smile and a pleasantry when it's my turn. I am a good customer when it comes to the retail environment.
A friend posted on Facebook last night that she went to the doctor for her annual checkup and the doctor was 20 minutes late in coming in. She apologized for the delay and explained that she had spent the last 20 minutes with another patient delivering bad news. I thought about the times that I have sat in the waiting room by myself or with a sick child and complained about how ridiculous it was to have to wait so long. Truth is, I have never been a doctor so I have never become a patient patient.
We have no idea what goes on behind the privacy of those doors lining the halls of that doctor's office. Doctor's are human too. Maybe he/ she dealt with children who just wouldn't get out of bed that morning and missed breakfast and needed a few minutes to scarf down a snack. Maybe he/she woke up not feeling well themselves and needed a few minutes in the restroom . Maybe he/she just dealt with a difficult child and needed a 5 minute time out before dealing with me. Maybe he/she just delivered bad news to someone and spent some extra time with them or after delivering that bad news , he/she needed some time to pull themselves together after . Maybe, just maybe, it had nothing to do with him/ her at all.
Fact is , doctors do not schedule their own appointments. A receptionist and /or triage nurse does that for them. While it would be easy to blame them for the long wait time, they are doing the best they can do too. I know that there have been times that I have went in for what should have been more of a 10 minute appointment that ended up being more of a 20 to 30 minute one. They aren't psychic and have no control over how long an appointment will last. As soon as the phone starts ringing in the am they have to take a guess at how many patients a doctor can see in a hours time. If they determine 4 and those four only take up 15 minutes each, all is well. If one of those is a child that doesn't want to sit still and is uncooperative and yet another one came in with a sore throat but wants to talk about the blister on her toe , her insomnia, and rash on her butt as well, then at the end of the hour that doctor is 30 minutes behind schedule.
My best friend likes to tell a story that she read one time to illustrate how quick we are to judge . A man lives in a city and boards a train after dark with his three small children. One is crying loudly and the other two are kinda wild and unruly. The man isn't really paying attention to them so they quickly start to get on the other passenger's nerves. At some point an older woman says loudly " Sir , can you please deal with your children." The man looks up and seems to come out of a stupor. He replies " I'm sorry, we just came from the hospital. My wife died a little while ago. I am not sure they understand but they know something bad has happened. They are tired and haven't eaten since lunch." It's so easy to look at a situation and think we know what is going on when truth is, more often than not, we have no idea.
We ( me included ) as a society lead such busy lives that it is easy to become impatient with people and /or situations. We ( me included ) really need to work on just taking a breath and giving others a break. I allow myself to have a bad day every once in a while and should allow others to have one too. God, please create within me a heart that gives others the benefit of the doubt when I am impatient. Help me to be more sympathetic to what may be going on in that person's life. Help me to be kind in all situations. Help me to give a smile and a pleasantry when it is my turn no matter how long I have had to wait. Amen.
A friend posted on Facebook last night that she went to the doctor for her annual checkup and the doctor was 20 minutes late in coming in. She apologized for the delay and explained that she had spent the last 20 minutes with another patient delivering bad news. I thought about the times that I have sat in the waiting room by myself or with a sick child and complained about how ridiculous it was to have to wait so long. Truth is, I have never been a doctor so I have never become a patient patient.
We have no idea what goes on behind the privacy of those doors lining the halls of that doctor's office. Doctor's are human too. Maybe he/ she dealt with children who just wouldn't get out of bed that morning and missed breakfast and needed a few minutes to scarf down a snack. Maybe he/she woke up not feeling well themselves and needed a few minutes in the restroom . Maybe he/she just dealt with a difficult child and needed a 5 minute time out before dealing with me. Maybe he/she just delivered bad news to someone and spent some extra time with them or after delivering that bad news , he/she needed some time to pull themselves together after . Maybe, just maybe, it had nothing to do with him/ her at all.
Fact is , doctors do not schedule their own appointments. A receptionist and /or triage nurse does that for them. While it would be easy to blame them for the long wait time, they are doing the best they can do too. I know that there have been times that I have went in for what should have been more of a 10 minute appointment that ended up being more of a 20 to 30 minute one. They aren't psychic and have no control over how long an appointment will last. As soon as the phone starts ringing in the am they have to take a guess at how many patients a doctor can see in a hours time. If they determine 4 and those four only take up 15 minutes each, all is well. If one of those is a child that doesn't want to sit still and is uncooperative and yet another one came in with a sore throat but wants to talk about the blister on her toe , her insomnia, and rash on her butt as well, then at the end of the hour that doctor is 30 minutes behind schedule.
My best friend likes to tell a story that she read one time to illustrate how quick we are to judge . A man lives in a city and boards a train after dark with his three small children. One is crying loudly and the other two are kinda wild and unruly. The man isn't really paying attention to them so they quickly start to get on the other passenger's nerves. At some point an older woman says loudly " Sir , can you please deal with your children." The man looks up and seems to come out of a stupor. He replies " I'm sorry, we just came from the hospital. My wife died a little while ago. I am not sure they understand but they know something bad has happened. They are tired and haven't eaten since lunch." It's so easy to look at a situation and think we know what is going on when truth is, more often than not, we have no idea.
We ( me included ) as a society lead such busy lives that it is easy to become impatient with people and /or situations. We ( me included ) really need to work on just taking a breath and giving others a break. I allow myself to have a bad day every once in a while and should allow others to have one too. God, please create within me a heart that gives others the benefit of the doubt when I am impatient. Help me to be more sympathetic to what may be going on in that person's life. Help me to be kind in all situations. Help me to give a smile and a pleasantry when it is my turn no matter how long I have had to wait. Amen.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
If looks could kill
My mama has always said that if looks could kill that I would be in prison. Apparently my face shows the emotion I happen to be feeling . Well, if looks could kill I would be asking for bail money right now.
I had a mammogram today. My appointment time was 12 :30 but my orders said to be there 15 to 20 minutes early for registration.I was signed in and sitting in waiting by 12 :10. There were 5 divided pods where 5 different employees could check in 5 different people at the same time. Pods 1 through 3 had their lights on. Pods 1 and 2 had customers/patients already being checked in. Pod 3 had nobody. At 12 :20 pod 2 finished with her patient and took the guy ahead of me. About the same time I heard the lady in pod 3 start talking to someone on the phone. It was obvious that it was a personal call and had nothing to do with hospital business.At 12 :25 the lights come on in pod 4 but she starts up a conversation with the woman in pod 3 who for the last fifteen minutes hasn't done anything but make a personal phone call.
All this time I am sitting beside a woman who smells like she hasn't bathed in a week AND I have to pee. I am usually a very patient person but I was reaching a limit. At one point I look over to another woman who has been waiting as long as I have.She shrugs her shoulders and looks as frustrated as I am.For the next 10 minutes pod 3 and pod 4 talk about soup. At 12 :35, five minutes past my appointment time I change seats so I can see directly into pod3. I am now sitting right beside the other woman who looks like I feel. She whispers " my appointment is in 5 minutes." I reply , " My appointment was 5 minutes ago ." I did not whisper though . In fact I believe anyone in and around that waiting room heard me. It caught the attention of both pod 3 and pod 4. When pod 3 looked at me I shot her a look.
Needless to say, neither wasted no time in walking to the sign in sheet and calling me and the other lady to sign us in. I didn't make it back to imaging until 12 :45 and waited another 10 minutes there before being called back. I checked my watch as I was leaving. It was 1:01. My mammogram took exactly 6 minutes.
Usually I hate getting customer surveys whether it be by mail or email. I usually throw them away or hit delete. I really hope I get one from Northern Hospital though. I would definitely fill this one out and be excited about hitting send.
I had a mammogram today. My appointment time was 12 :30 but my orders said to be there 15 to 20 minutes early for registration.I was signed in and sitting in waiting by 12 :10. There were 5 divided pods where 5 different employees could check in 5 different people at the same time. Pods 1 through 3 had their lights on. Pods 1 and 2 had customers/patients already being checked in. Pod 3 had nobody. At 12 :20 pod 2 finished with her patient and took the guy ahead of me. About the same time I heard the lady in pod 3 start talking to someone on the phone. It was obvious that it was a personal call and had nothing to do with hospital business.At 12 :25 the lights come on in pod 4 but she starts up a conversation with the woman in pod 3 who for the last fifteen minutes hasn't done anything but make a personal phone call.
All this time I am sitting beside a woman who smells like she hasn't bathed in a week AND I have to pee. I am usually a very patient person but I was reaching a limit. At one point I look over to another woman who has been waiting as long as I have.She shrugs her shoulders and looks as frustrated as I am.For the next 10 minutes pod 3 and pod 4 talk about soup. At 12 :35, five minutes past my appointment time I change seats so I can see directly into pod3. I am now sitting right beside the other woman who looks like I feel. She whispers " my appointment is in 5 minutes." I reply , " My appointment was 5 minutes ago ." I did not whisper though . In fact I believe anyone in and around that waiting room heard me. It caught the attention of both pod 3 and pod 4. When pod 3 looked at me I shot her a look.
Needless to say, neither wasted no time in walking to the sign in sheet and calling me and the other lady to sign us in. I didn't make it back to imaging until 12 :45 and waited another 10 minutes there before being called back. I checked my watch as I was leaving. It was 1:01. My mammogram took exactly 6 minutes.
Usually I hate getting customer surveys whether it be by mail or email. I usually throw them away or hit delete. I really hope I get one from Northern Hospital though. I would definitely fill this one out and be excited about hitting send.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Simply me
Yesterday my son wanted me to deposit $45 of his money into my checking account so he could order a hoodie online. It is his money. He earned it , therefore within reason I allow him to spend it on whatever he chooses. He spends his money well. He usually buys clothes because he knows that if his clothes budget is determined by me he will not be wearing what he wants. He is all about the name brand. Hopefully I don't offend here but I could care less about name brand. I buy clothes to cover my body and keep me warm or cool depending upon season. If I have $35 to spend on clothes I will purchase 10 shirts at Goodwill versus 1 at Abercrombie. Anyway this one transaction made me reflect on "why" I don't give a rip about status statements.
I have NEVER owned a designer handbag. I have a pocketbook and that is what I call it too...a pocketbook. I use it til it falls apart and then I buy another. It's $30 including shipping and handling and I order it from luggageguru.com . It has two straps and I sling it on my back like a backpack. When my children were younger and I was going on a couple of field trips every month it allowed me to walk around with both of my hands free. I could hold hands with my child or be camera ready to take pictures of the memories I was making with them. They are older but I still carry it because it is still practical. It has three pockets on the outside. Pocket #1 hold my cell phone. Pocket #2, several writing pens and pocket #3 contains gum. There is a zip pocket on the back that holds lipstick/lipgloss, hand sanitizer, ibuprophen, and full sized store discount cards that I don't have on my already full key ring. The inside has three additional pockets. One for chapstick, listerne strips, and nail clippers. Another for eyeglass cleaning spray and wipes, and yet another for a comb and a nail file. The biggest section holds my wallet, calendar, checkbook, and keys. I NEVER have to dig for anything. On the rare occasion that I decide to spend a stupid amount of money to take the family to the movies , my pocketbook can smuggle three 16 oz drinks at $1.39 each into the theater because I just refuse to pay $12 for three cups full of ice and a little bit of soda. Once a year it holds enough snacks to get us through a day at the zoo so we don't spend $50 on hamburgers and fries for 4 people at lunch time.
I guess you can tell by now that I am cheap. You have no idea. 90% of the clothes in my drawers and closet came from Goodwill or consignment stores. I will buy shoes and underwear new but to be clear up until last year I only owned one bra that I washed two or three times a week and I wear underwear til I am forced to buy new ones because I wear them til they fall apart.The last new shoes I bought for myself were three pairs of flip flops last summer and they were buy one get one half off at Kmart. The big name brand? Joe Boxers.
I'm not into pedicures, manicures, or massages. I clip, file, shape, and paint my own nails for free. If I need a back rub , I'll get Eric to do it. If you ever need to find me, I can promise that I won't be in a salon. I do get haircuts from time to time but I will not pay $60 for the same work that I can pay $15 for. I guess when the gray takes over, I will show my age because I won't be coloring my hair and touching up my roots every 6 weeks.
As a family , we go out to eat once every pay check, which for us is twice a month. The rest of my food budget is spent at the grocery store.As you may have guessed I am pretty frugal there as well. The majority of everything I buy is store brand. I do make a few exceptions. Scott toilet tissue is pretty expensive but per roll it seems to last longer at our house so I pay the extra. Up until a few years ago I would only buy Tide laundry detergent but at a load everyday I couldn't justify it anymore so now I spend an hour every 3 months or so and make my own laundry detergent. It saves me about $200 a year and it works just as good as store bought.
I have a cell phone but the fanciest part about it is a full keyboard to make texting easier. I do not have an internet plan on it so you will never see a Facebook status posted via mobile. My children do not have phones of their own and when they do get one it will most certainly not be the latest iphone. At this point in their lives if they want to communicate with their friends they have ipods they can text on or can use the landline phones in our house. If they are away from me , they are either at school or with responsible adults that can reach me if and when an emergency arises. I made it just fine til adulthood without a cell phone. I am certain that they will survive until they are driving on their own without one.
Don't feel sorry for me or my children. We have every thing that we need . We are fed, we are clothed and we have shelter. We even have things that we don't need like Direct tv and high speed internet.I even splurge every once in a while. Of course my idea of splurging is driving downtown to buy an espresso based coffee drink instead of brewing at home or buying a big bag of M&M's and having a handful each day for a couple of weeks. Truth is,we don't have the extra money to spend on designer handbags, name brand clothing, trips to the salon or high tech phones that do everything but wipe your butt.Truth is , even if we did, I wouldn't spend it on those things. We would spend it on trips together , put it in savings, or give it away. If all of my bills were paid, we had no NEEDS, and I had upwards of $300 to spend on a designer handbag, I most likely would either give it to my church so they could meet needs within my congregation or just flat out give it to the many people I know that are struggling just to survive in this crap economy.
Disclaimer : I am not judging how other people spend their money. They earn it and should spend it however they wish. This isn't about them. This is about me, who I am and what MY priorities are.This is about how I live my life and as it turns out, it's pretty simple.
I have NEVER owned a designer handbag. I have a pocketbook and that is what I call it too...a pocketbook. I use it til it falls apart and then I buy another. It's $30 including shipping and handling and I order it from luggageguru.com . It has two straps and I sling it on my back like a backpack. When my children were younger and I was going on a couple of field trips every month it allowed me to walk around with both of my hands free. I could hold hands with my child or be camera ready to take pictures of the memories I was making with them. They are older but I still carry it because it is still practical. It has three pockets on the outside. Pocket #1 hold my cell phone. Pocket #2, several writing pens and pocket #3 contains gum. There is a zip pocket on the back that holds lipstick/lipgloss, hand sanitizer, ibuprophen, and full sized store discount cards that I don't have on my already full key ring. The inside has three additional pockets. One for chapstick, listerne strips, and nail clippers. Another for eyeglass cleaning spray and wipes, and yet another for a comb and a nail file. The biggest section holds my wallet, calendar, checkbook, and keys. I NEVER have to dig for anything. On the rare occasion that I decide to spend a stupid amount of money to take the family to the movies , my pocketbook can smuggle three 16 oz drinks at $1.39 each into the theater because I just refuse to pay $12 for three cups full of ice and a little bit of soda. Once a year it holds enough snacks to get us through a day at the zoo so we don't spend $50 on hamburgers and fries for 4 people at lunch time.
I guess you can tell by now that I am cheap. You have no idea. 90% of the clothes in my drawers and closet came from Goodwill or consignment stores. I will buy shoes and underwear new but to be clear up until last year I only owned one bra that I washed two or three times a week and I wear underwear til I am forced to buy new ones because I wear them til they fall apart.The last new shoes I bought for myself were three pairs of flip flops last summer and they were buy one get one half off at Kmart. The big name brand? Joe Boxers.
I'm not into pedicures, manicures, or massages. I clip, file, shape, and paint my own nails for free. If I need a back rub , I'll get Eric to do it. If you ever need to find me, I can promise that I won't be in a salon. I do get haircuts from time to time but I will not pay $60 for the same work that I can pay $15 for. I guess when the gray takes over, I will show my age because I won't be coloring my hair and touching up my roots every 6 weeks.
As a family , we go out to eat once every pay check, which for us is twice a month. The rest of my food budget is spent at the grocery store.As you may have guessed I am pretty frugal there as well. The majority of everything I buy is store brand. I do make a few exceptions. Scott toilet tissue is pretty expensive but per roll it seems to last longer at our house so I pay the extra. Up until a few years ago I would only buy Tide laundry detergent but at a load everyday I couldn't justify it anymore so now I spend an hour every 3 months or so and make my own laundry detergent. It saves me about $200 a year and it works just as good as store bought.
I have a cell phone but the fanciest part about it is a full keyboard to make texting easier. I do not have an internet plan on it so you will never see a Facebook status posted via mobile. My children do not have phones of their own and when they do get one it will most certainly not be the latest iphone. At this point in their lives if they want to communicate with their friends they have ipods they can text on or can use the landline phones in our house. If they are away from me , they are either at school or with responsible adults that can reach me if and when an emergency arises. I made it just fine til adulthood without a cell phone. I am certain that they will survive until they are driving on their own without one.
Don't feel sorry for me or my children. We have every thing that we need . We are fed, we are clothed and we have shelter. We even have things that we don't need like Direct tv and high speed internet.I even splurge every once in a while. Of course my idea of splurging is driving downtown to buy an espresso based coffee drink instead of brewing at home or buying a big bag of M&M's and having a handful each day for a couple of weeks. Truth is,we don't have the extra money to spend on designer handbags, name brand clothing, trips to the salon or high tech phones that do everything but wipe your butt.Truth is , even if we did, I wouldn't spend it on those things. We would spend it on trips together , put it in savings, or give it away. If all of my bills were paid, we had no NEEDS, and I had upwards of $300 to spend on a designer handbag, I most likely would either give it to my church so they could meet needs within my congregation or just flat out give it to the many people I know that are struggling just to survive in this crap economy.
Disclaimer : I am not judging how other people spend their money. They earn it and should spend it however they wish. This isn't about them. This is about me, who I am and what MY priorities are.This is about how I live my life and as it turns out, it's pretty simple.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Your tax dollars at work
Eric goes to the VA for his healthcare. He earned it and he uses it. Several months ago, he made an appointment to have some pain in his side checked out. He made this appointment because I pitched a fit. He had just told me that he has had this pain for almost six years now and it was becoming more frequent. So here is how this goes.
Appointment one : Eric drives to Winston for a consultation with his doctor . After discussion, she orders a CT scan.
Appointment two : Eric drives to Salisbury for his CT scan.
Appointment three : Eric drives back to Winston ( I guess a phone call would not suffice ) To discuss with his doctor the results of his CT scan. Scan shows gall stones . She refers him to gastroenterologist.
Appointment four : Eric drives to Salisbury for consultation with gastroenterologist who doesn't even mention found gall stones but instead is concerned with fatty deposits on his liver. He orders a liver biopsy. He also orders a stupid amount of blood work.
Appointment five : Eric drives to Winston for blood work
Appointment six : Eric drives to Winston for an appointment that they set up. He didn't know why he was even going. He arrives to have the doctor come in and say " I really don't know why you are here. Your blood work is fine. By the way, I cancelled your liver biopsy. That was crazy. That is a last resort kind of thing . If you have any more problems, let me know." ( again, phone call would not suffice)
America, you are paying for this. Not only are you paying for his medical care, you are paying his mileage back and forth. I don't share this so you can be outraged at the amount of your tax dollars being spent on our veterans. Every single one of them earned this care . I share because Obamacare is getting ready to hit store shelves near you. This is your government at work people.
Appointment one : Eric drives to Winston for a consultation with his doctor . After discussion, she orders a CT scan.
Appointment two : Eric drives to Salisbury for his CT scan.
Appointment three : Eric drives back to Winston ( I guess a phone call would not suffice ) To discuss with his doctor the results of his CT scan. Scan shows gall stones . She refers him to gastroenterologist.
Appointment four : Eric drives to Salisbury for consultation with gastroenterologist who doesn't even mention found gall stones but instead is concerned with fatty deposits on his liver. He orders a liver biopsy. He also orders a stupid amount of blood work.
Appointment five : Eric drives to Winston for blood work
Appointment six : Eric drives to Winston for an appointment that they set up. He didn't know why he was even going. He arrives to have the doctor come in and say " I really don't know why you are here. Your blood work is fine. By the way, I cancelled your liver biopsy. That was crazy. That is a last resort kind of thing . If you have any more problems, let me know." ( again, phone call would not suffice)
America, you are paying for this. Not only are you paying for his medical care, you are paying his mileage back and forth. I don't share this so you can be outraged at the amount of your tax dollars being spent on our veterans. Every single one of them earned this care . I share because Obamacare is getting ready to hit store shelves near you. This is your government at work people.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Not just another trip to the store
A little while ago I made a trip to the grocery store for toilet paper and dog food. As I approached the cashier , her and another store associate were talking about how much they do at home. Of course I joined in providing a comment. For the record, we weren't husband bashing. I don't do that. It was more about how much we do and how much the others in our household don't realize how much we do.
It was a gentle reminder to me at how blessed I really am. In general I know this all the time but sometimes God uses situations around me to kick it into my heart.My husband works upwards of 50 plus hours a week. He works hard and comes home dirty. We have two children and I have been blessed to be able to be a stay at home wife and mommy since their birth.It hasn't always been easy and not without sacrifice.I have found ways to contribute financially throughout the years but Eric is the breadwinner so to speak.He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan.Not only that, but most everything else too.
For as long as I can remember there has been a kind of unspoken rule between him and I.As long as it is possible he will work outside of the home and I will do everything else. I work hard. Sometimes at the end of the day I am dirty too. I match his work hours. I just get paid differently.Just as his job can be demanding, tiring, and overwhelming at times, mine is as well. Let me be clear, this isn't something that he expects, it is what I have chosen to do in appreciation and love for what he does.
As our children get older, they will pick up more responsibility and my work load will ease some. Until then I thank God for allowing me to be the stay at home wife and mommy that I know I was meant to be. Recently my husband let me know that he realizes and appreciates how hard I work.He thanked me for taking care of him and our children. I don't do what I do specifically for moments such as that but when they happen , that is my paycheck and it's worth more than I could earn anywhere else.
It was a gentle reminder to me at how blessed I really am. In general I know this all the time but sometimes God uses situations around me to kick it into my heart.My husband works upwards of 50 plus hours a week. He works hard and comes home dirty. We have two children and I have been blessed to be able to be a stay at home wife and mommy since their birth.It hasn't always been easy and not without sacrifice.I have found ways to contribute financially throughout the years but Eric is the breadwinner so to speak.He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan.Not only that, but most everything else too.
For as long as I can remember there has been a kind of unspoken rule between him and I.As long as it is possible he will work outside of the home and I will do everything else. I work hard. Sometimes at the end of the day I am dirty too. I match his work hours. I just get paid differently.Just as his job can be demanding, tiring, and overwhelming at times, mine is as well. Let me be clear, this isn't something that he expects, it is what I have chosen to do in appreciation and love for what he does.
As our children get older, they will pick up more responsibility and my work load will ease some. Until then I thank God for allowing me to be the stay at home wife and mommy that I know I was meant to be. Recently my husband let me know that he realizes and appreciates how hard I work.He thanked me for taking care of him and our children. I don't do what I do specifically for moments such as that but when they happen , that is my paycheck and it's worth more than I could earn anywhere else.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
The game of pool is racist
On the way home from dropping the kids off at school I was listening to a discussion on the radio about racism in this country. This is my soapbox moment for the day. Yes there is racism in this country...by ALL of the colors that call this country home. Racism is ugly, mean, and born out of hate. It is my personal opinion that if you are a racist , you cannot possibly have the love of God in your heart. I am not going to pretend that I have all of the answers but let me tell you a story.
A couple of weeks ago my family spent 3 days at the KOA campground in Fancy Gap VA. Saturday evening of that weekend was rainy so Eric and Ben spent some time in the clubhouse playing pool and video games.There was an african american boy in the game room that was around Ben's age, maybe a little younger. Within minutes he had declared the game of pool racist. There is only one black ball, therefore, it is racist. Never mind that there are ZERO totally white balls. The company that produces the white chair in the corner? Obviously racist because the chair was white. Do you see where I am headed?
I don't blame him. Black, white, yellow, children aren't born knowing racism. I blame the people raising this child .I imagine that he has been taught for as many years as he could understand language that racism is the hearts of everyone, apparently, even the inventor of the game of pool and the owner of the company that produces white chairs. I find this very disturbing and dangerous. He didn't say this but I would say that even though he had just met Eric and Ben that he made the judgement that they were racist and he was waiting for some sort of comment to prove him right.
I am not a perfect parent and someone please correct me if I am wrong. If a child is taught from an early age that all people who aren't the same color as them are racist, isn't that what they are ALWAYS going to look for, and if they can't find it, manufacture it? The simple definition of racism is : the hatred or intolerance of another race. Again correct me if I am wrong but isn't what these parents are teaching this young man not racist ideas in and of themselves?
Sadly, I can almost predict this child's future. At some point he is going to spout his nonsense to a white individual who is going to recognize it for the foolishness that it is. He will get punched in the face and the white individual will be charged with a hate crime. If that same white individual punched another white individual in the face for spouting nonsense he would only be charged with assault. There goes that whole treating all races equally idea huh?
A couple of weeks ago my family spent 3 days at the KOA campground in Fancy Gap VA. Saturday evening of that weekend was rainy so Eric and Ben spent some time in the clubhouse playing pool and video games.There was an african american boy in the game room that was around Ben's age, maybe a little younger. Within minutes he had declared the game of pool racist. There is only one black ball, therefore, it is racist. Never mind that there are ZERO totally white balls. The company that produces the white chair in the corner? Obviously racist because the chair was white. Do you see where I am headed?
I don't blame him. Black, white, yellow, children aren't born knowing racism. I blame the people raising this child .I imagine that he has been taught for as many years as he could understand language that racism is the hearts of everyone, apparently, even the inventor of the game of pool and the owner of the company that produces white chairs. I find this very disturbing and dangerous. He didn't say this but I would say that even though he had just met Eric and Ben that he made the judgement that they were racist and he was waiting for some sort of comment to prove him right.
I am not a perfect parent and someone please correct me if I am wrong. If a child is taught from an early age that all people who aren't the same color as them are racist, isn't that what they are ALWAYS going to look for, and if they can't find it, manufacture it? The simple definition of racism is : the hatred or intolerance of another race. Again correct me if I am wrong but isn't what these parents are teaching this young man not racist ideas in and of themselves?
Sadly, I can almost predict this child's future. At some point he is going to spout his nonsense to a white individual who is going to recognize it for the foolishness that it is. He will get punched in the face and the white individual will be charged with a hate crime. If that same white individual punched another white individual in the face for spouting nonsense he would only be charged with assault. There goes that whole treating all races equally idea huh?
Monday, August 19, 2013
The rain wins AGAIN
Eric worked hours and spent quite a bit of $ planting a garden. I tried, I really did try to keep the garden weeded.We just couldn't stay ahead of the rain. I managed to pull enough tomatoes out to make 4 pints of salsa. There are 30 short ears of corn in the freezer and we had 2 squash that survived. No beans, no watermelon, no cantaloupe and the potatoes are more than likely rotted in the ground. The rain wins.
Well over a month ago I made reservations to go camping this past weekend. Camping is not my favorite thing in the world but the rest of my crew does does so I suck it up and make the best of it. We do NOT tent camp. Very early in our marriage Eric and I paid $600 for a pop up camper that has been well worth the money we paid for it. It's not huge by any imagination. It sleeps 4 of us comfortably, has a small stovetop, tiny refrigerator, and a some storage compartments. That's it. No bathroom or running water. We loaded up Friday afternoon and headed to Fancy Gap KOA for the weekend.
By the time the camper was set up , the sky was cloudy. It was cool and I couldn't help thinking how nice it would be if it would just stay that way and not rain how wonderful the weekend would be. Eric and Ben fished while Cara and I headed to the pool. The water was like ice so I was just fine to sit and watch her splash around . After the evening meal, Ben and Eric played some music in the clubhouse with some friends that came up to jam. Cara and I drove back down the mountain to take the dogs out and grab some stuff that we had forgotten.Saturday morning Eric drove home to get the dogs so they could experience camping too. By the time we had them settled in it was raining, not hard at first , just sprinkling. For several hours Eric and the kids fished in the rain while me and dogs watched . Around lunch time the real rain moved in , pouring , soaking everything, forcing the four of us and 2 dogs into the small camper . No fishing, no swimming, no walking around, no campfire, just sitting around in the camper. That makes for good quality family time for sure but none of the fun stuff that camping is supposed to be.
That batch of rain lasted until after lunch on Sunday. The sky was still clouded and the sun only peeked through a handful of times but there wasn't drops of water actively falling from the sky for about 7 hours. We actually got to eat our hot dogs and hamburgers outside around the picnic table. Smores were made for the first time since we had been there and I was allowed to sit around a roaring campfire for about 45 minutes. The roaring campfire and smores are my favorite part of camping. I had 45 minutes and then the sky opened up again and dropped heavy soaking rain for the rest of the night and was still pouring when we awoke this morning.
There is nothing fun about waking up at 1 am and having to trudge through puddles that you can't even see in the dark, with an umbrella, to walk to the bathroom because you have to pee. There is nothing fun about not having a totally dry spot to sit. There is nothing fun about being wet for the better part of 2 days. The rain wins ...AGAIN.
There were moments that warmed my heart despite all the rain. Ben learned how to take his fish off the hook this year. Cara actually enjoyed fishing this time. Even if it was brief, I did get my roaring campfire and smores.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
I believe differently than you
There are several reasons that I blog. Sometimes it is to record a memory . Other times it is to share my life. Still other times it is to vent. After all, it is my blog and I can say what I want to. I often share the link to my words on Facebook since I have more Facebook friends than blog followers.You have been put on notice : this post is a vent / rant . I may lose some friends over this one. You know what ? I really don't care. After all, this is my blog and I can say what I want to.
Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down a few rulings regarding same sex marriage. Within hours I was seeing posts that included words such as love, hate, respect, compassion, judgemental, and rights.I do NOT support same sex marriage and apparently that automatically makes me a hateful, judgemental bigot incapable of respect, love, and compassion. That's funny because I thought that just made me simply a person who thinks / believes differently than someone who does support same sex marriage. I am the queen of multitasking. I can disagree with someone and love them, show compassion for them, and treat them with respect all at the same time. The fact that I have been married for 17 years is proof of that.So for all of the supporters of same sex marriage out there, this one is for you.
I believe differently than you. You have fought for your "right" to believe as you do and this is me fighting for mine. I still love you. I do not consume alcoholic beverages but I am fully capable of loving , having compassion for, and showing respect for some one who chooses to. I love bacon but I am fully capable of loving, having compassion for, and showing respect for vegetarians. Secretly I am probably gonna think you are crazy for not eating bacon but I promise not to shout that from the rooftops. Point is, I am capable of disagreeing with how you live your life and still able to love you, have compassion for you, and treat you with respect. I simply believe differently than you do. How does that make ME the bad guy? And that really is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to come down to "rights".
So, lets go there. I have come to despise the word "rights". Because we live in the "land of the free", everyone has this idea that they have all these "rights". Why? Because of this piece of paper called the Constitution. Newsflash: These "rights" were thought of and penned by men . They have been amended and infringed upon by men over the years to suit the thoughts of the majority. We have come to believe that we have certain "guaranteed ( and I use that term loosely) rights". Guess what ? The moment I was born, I was given the right to breathe as long as God chooses to allow me to. When HE chooses to take that right away, I cease to breathe and therefore I die. That is really truly the one and only right that we as human beings have and we have no control of it.
This is not me trying to change your position nor am I going to change mine. I believe differently than you. So if you think that automatically makes me a hateful bigot, then who is the one really being judgemental here? I believe differently than you. I didn't call you names. So then who is the one really being hateful here?I believe differently than you. If you can't love me, have compassion for me, and treat me with respect for that reason, delete me. The end.
Yesterday the Supreme Court handed down a few rulings regarding same sex marriage. Within hours I was seeing posts that included words such as love, hate, respect, compassion, judgemental, and rights.I do NOT support same sex marriage and apparently that automatically makes me a hateful, judgemental bigot incapable of respect, love, and compassion. That's funny because I thought that just made me simply a person who thinks / believes differently than someone who does support same sex marriage. I am the queen of multitasking. I can disagree with someone and love them, show compassion for them, and treat them with respect all at the same time. The fact that I have been married for 17 years is proof of that.So for all of the supporters of same sex marriage out there, this one is for you.
I believe differently than you. You have fought for your "right" to believe as you do and this is me fighting for mine. I still love you. I do not consume alcoholic beverages but I am fully capable of loving , having compassion for, and showing respect for some one who chooses to. I love bacon but I am fully capable of loving, having compassion for, and showing respect for vegetarians. Secretly I am probably gonna think you are crazy for not eating bacon but I promise not to shout that from the rooftops. Point is, I am capable of disagreeing with how you live your life and still able to love you, have compassion for you, and treat you with respect. I simply believe differently than you do. How does that make ME the bad guy? And that really is a rhetorical question because I know the answer is going to come down to "rights".
So, lets go there. I have come to despise the word "rights". Because we live in the "land of the free", everyone has this idea that they have all these "rights". Why? Because of this piece of paper called the Constitution. Newsflash: These "rights" were thought of and penned by men . They have been amended and infringed upon by men over the years to suit the thoughts of the majority. We have come to believe that we have certain "guaranteed ( and I use that term loosely) rights". Guess what ? The moment I was born, I was given the right to breathe as long as God chooses to allow me to. When HE chooses to take that right away, I cease to breathe and therefore I die. That is really truly the one and only right that we as human beings have and we have no control of it.
This is not me trying to change your position nor am I going to change mine. I believe differently than you. So if you think that automatically makes me a hateful bigot, then who is the one really being judgemental here? I believe differently than you. I didn't call you names. So then who is the one really being hateful here?I believe differently than you. If you can't love me, have compassion for me, and treat me with respect for that reason, delete me. The end.
Monday, May 20, 2013
I said "I do " ...again
Scattered in among the happiness has come anger, disappointment, and hurt. Those moments aren't the ones that we want to live in our memories forever. However, it's those moments that God, in his infinite wisdom, used to make our marriage stronger. It's those moments that after they are over have made me love my husband that much more. It's those moments that have made me appreciate the happy ones. I loved my husband the day I married him and didn't think it possible that I could ever love him more. Yet, I continue to fall in love with him over and over again. I am not sure if it's despite what we have been through or because of it.
At the very end of 2011 Eric and I discussed renewing our vows in 2012. Life got in the way , months passed and it just didn't get planned. Looking back , I can see that it wasn't just busy lives or laziness that kept the planning from taking place. It was God. I guess God had to make sure we were strong enough to weather the next 17 years before allowing us to take that plunge again, so He tested us. In retrospect almost the entire year was a gigantic test, not just a test of our marriage but a test of my faith.In fact I believe the last 4 years or so has been strategically designed by the Master to turn me into a warrior. I can say with absolute certainty that my marriage has withstood some storms that statistics say it should not have.
By January of this year, it was obvious that we had passed the test and that we had HIS blessing to do as we had planned a year before. We didn't want a big audience. This was really just for us, not for show. There were only 8 in attendance , Eric, me, our children, my best friend, her husband , and their 2 children. We met on their back porch, exchanged vows that we had written and Eric sang a song that he had written for the occasion. The entire thing was simple, beautiful, and I cried the entire time. Afterwards we grilled some hot dogs and hamburgers and enjoyed each other's company for several hours.
The next morning we dropped the kids off at friend's houses and we spent two uninterrupted days in Cherokee together, reliving old memories and making new ones. I do not know what God has planned for tomorrow, much less for years down the road. I do know this: God surely means for me to be with this man and for him to be with me.
Monday, April 1, 2013
As long as we're together
I spent the majority of last week planning a road trip to the Blowing Rock area. The plan was to go to Grandfather Mountain one day and Linville Caverns the next. Thursday morning I checked the weather forecast and decided that 42 degrees was a little too cold for traipsing through the mountains so I decided that south we would go. I had been promising my kids that we would go to Carowinds and was excited to see on the website that Friday was opening day. Not only that, if I bought the tickets that day they were only $29.99, saving me $68 just for admission alone. I bought and printed the tickets and we were up bright and early Friday morning on our way to warmer fun.
We pulled into the parking lot and saw a massive line . With pre printed tickets in hand I walked to the admission gate only to realize that the massive line was for those holding pre printed tickets. About 20 minutes into waiting we came to a Carowinds employee whose sole job was to check your tickets to make sure you were in the correct line. He looked and verified that we were. 20 more minutes and we come to a table where again someone checks our tickets and waves us on . 20 more minutes ( an hour into the line) and we finally come to a scanning station or what appears to be our way in, and the lady looks at our tickets and announces to me that we are in the wrong line. We were in the season pass registration line and we needed to be in the general admission line which by the way was almost empty when we had arrived. So basically what she was saying was this : we could have been inside the park an hour earlier and my screaming bladder could have been emptied 60 minutes before it was. It was all I could do to hold it together and just say thank you and move on.
The first priority was to go to the top of the needle and look around to see what we all wanted to do. Cara saw a roller coaster that interested her but the only things Ben and Eric saw was a go cart track. We rode the Hurler and then straight lined to the go cart track which isn't included in park admission. Cara and I rode one more roller coaster which wasn't what I would call exciting. I could only drag Eric and Ben away from the go cart track long enough to watch a 3D dinosaur movie and lunch. We ended the day by riding the scrambler which you can find at any local carnival or fair. We go to Carowinds, spend $125 to get in and nobody in my family will even ride Thunder Road with me. I have made the executive decision that we will not be going back to Carowinds any time soon.
We rested our weary bones at a local Sleep Inn and was back at it Saturday morning. Since go carting was the most loved activity the day before, we spent our day at Adventure Landing. The spring break special was 3 hours of unlimited go carting, mini golf, and bumper boats for a single price. For the next 3 hours we drove , putted, and floated. Knowing what I know now, it would have been way more cost effective to spend both days there .We finished the day grazing the buffet at Golden Corral and came back home to sleep in our own beds.
Things may not always go as planned, my family may not always agree on how to spend our time together , but the time spent together is priceless.
We pulled into the parking lot and saw a massive line . With pre printed tickets in hand I walked to the admission gate only to realize that the massive line was for those holding pre printed tickets. About 20 minutes into waiting we came to a Carowinds employee whose sole job was to check your tickets to make sure you were in the correct line. He looked and verified that we were. 20 more minutes and we come to a table where again someone checks our tickets and waves us on . 20 more minutes ( an hour into the line) and we finally come to a scanning station or what appears to be our way in, and the lady looks at our tickets and announces to me that we are in the wrong line. We were in the season pass registration line and we needed to be in the general admission line which by the way was almost empty when we had arrived. So basically what she was saying was this : we could have been inside the park an hour earlier and my screaming bladder could have been emptied 60 minutes before it was. It was all I could do to hold it together and just say thank you and move on.
The first priority was to go to the top of the needle and look around to see what we all wanted to do. Cara saw a roller coaster that interested her but the only things Ben and Eric saw was a go cart track. We rode the Hurler and then straight lined to the go cart track which isn't included in park admission. Cara and I rode one more roller coaster which wasn't what I would call exciting. I could only drag Eric and Ben away from the go cart track long enough to watch a 3D dinosaur movie and lunch. We ended the day by riding the scrambler which you can find at any local carnival or fair. We go to Carowinds, spend $125 to get in and nobody in my family will even ride Thunder Road with me. I have made the executive decision that we will not be going back to Carowinds any time soon.
We rested our weary bones at a local Sleep Inn and was back at it Saturday morning. Since go carting was the most loved activity the day before, we spent our day at Adventure Landing. The spring break special was 3 hours of unlimited go carting, mini golf, and bumper boats for a single price. For the next 3 hours we drove , putted, and floated. Knowing what I know now, it would have been way more cost effective to spend both days there .We finished the day grazing the buffet at Golden Corral and came back home to sleep in our own beds.
Things may not always go as planned, my family may not always agree on how to spend our time together , but the time spent together is priceless.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The stupid man and the dishwasher
I recently sat down with some women and had a meal. I don't know these women very well.We just happened to be in the same place at the same time. One of them starts a new topic by saying "I wish you could have seen how (insert husband's name) loaded the dishwasher this weekend. He's so incredibly stupid." And so the husband bashing began . His crime wasn't infidelity or wife beating. His crime? He didn't load the dishwasher to her standards. SERIOUSLY? The sad part was that for the rest of the meal these women verbally tore apart their husbands like they were a piece of paper.
My husband is not perfect, no where close. I have been married for almost 17 years and there have been times when I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the breath out of him. Has he done stupid things? You bethcha. Have I ever confided in a friend about those things? Yep ! What I don't so is drag him through the proverbial mud. I am not perfect and I don't expect him to be. EVERYONE makes mistakes. EVERYONE makes bad choices on occasion. NO marriage is rainbows and unicorns all the time. Life is NOT a fairy tale. We ALL do stupid stupid things at times. We ALL get hurt sooner or later and we ALL hurt someone we love sooner or later.We are ALL human, imperfect beings and I don't understand how some people can be so stinkin mean .
I am beginning to think that I am an oddity. I believe in vows, the whole through good AND bad, in sickness AND health, til death do us part stuff. I believe in happy endings. I believe in being HAPPILY married not just married.And most importantly I believe that if you aren't happy you need to figure out how to fix it. If it can't be fixed, and sometimes it can't, then get out but as a last resort, not the first option.
So here's a thought...instead of tearing your husband down in public, build him up at home. Instead of disrespecting him to everyone who will listen, talk to him privately. Instead of judging every little stupid thing he does, step back and judge your own heart. Instead of focusing on what he does wrong, focus on what he does right. Or how about just being overjoyed that your husband would even load the dishwasher?
Rant over...carry on.
My husband is not perfect, no where close. I have been married for almost 17 years and there have been times when I wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the breath out of him. Has he done stupid things? You bethcha. Have I ever confided in a friend about those things? Yep ! What I don't so is drag him through the proverbial mud. I am not perfect and I don't expect him to be. EVERYONE makes mistakes. EVERYONE makes bad choices on occasion. NO marriage is rainbows and unicorns all the time. Life is NOT a fairy tale. We ALL do stupid stupid things at times. We ALL get hurt sooner or later and we ALL hurt someone we love sooner or later.We are ALL human, imperfect beings and I don't understand how some people can be so stinkin mean .
I am beginning to think that I am an oddity. I believe in vows, the whole through good AND bad, in sickness AND health, til death do us part stuff. I believe in happy endings. I believe in being HAPPILY married not just married.And most importantly I believe that if you aren't happy you need to figure out how to fix it. If it can't be fixed, and sometimes it can't, then get out but as a last resort, not the first option.
So here's a thought...instead of tearing your husband down in public, build him up at home. Instead of disrespecting him to everyone who will listen, talk to him privately. Instead of judging every little stupid thing he does, step back and judge your own heart. Instead of focusing on what he does wrong, focus on what he does right. Or how about just being overjoyed that your husband would even load the dishwasher?
Rant over...carry on.
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