14,600 Days

     Well, God allowed me to awake this morning so I have officially been alive on the earth for 14,600 days. If you suck at math as I do, thats 40 years.I do not feel any older than I did yesterday but feel much older than I did say 20 years ago. I have heard that wisdom comes with age . I do not feel any smarter today than I did yesterday but I feel much smarter than I did even 2 years ago. I have spent some time over the last week pondering the 40 years of my life and I am humbled.
     God chose to place me within a big family filled with love . He chose the best mommy in the whole world for me. From day one til now she has been the ONLY earthly constant in my life. Others have come and gone but she has ALWAYS been there for me, every day of my 40 years. She has taught me so much and influenced the kind of woman I would become.
     Sixteen years ago I married the man that God picked out for me. He was and continues to be the love of my earthly life. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for this man and the marriage that we have. Then God allowed me to carry not one but two babies within my body and entrusted me with beautiful, healthy children. The joy that my marriage and children have brought into my life is incomparable to any other kind of joy til I see Heaven.
     Not every single one of my 14,600 days have been filled with sunshine, rainbows, and happiness. There has been heartache, heartbreak, pain, loss, and trouble but I have no regret. I thank God as much for the hurt as I do the joy because it has shaped me into who I am today. Through it all I have learned only to lean on God all the more. I have learned who I can really count on in times of need and who I can't. I have learned to appreciate what I do have instead of wanting what I don't or can't have. I have learned to love completely and unconditionally. I have learned how to truly forgive. I have learned to treasure moments that really matter. I have learned that without pain you cannot fully appreciate what joy feels like. I have learned time passes in an instant and to make the most out the time I am given. I have learned that love is the single most important possession you have and can give away. 40 years of learning and I know I am not finished.
     As I have gotten older I have realized that I spend more time doing things that I want to do versus what I need to do. There will always be laundry or cleaning that needs to be done but if today is my last day upon this earth I don't want it to have been just about work and no play. As I have gotten older I have realized how much more people mean to me instead of things. I have realized that there are less things worth waiting in line for. There have been times in my life that I have had self esteem issues so probably the most important realization I have ever had was this : My father is God, I am the child of a King. I am a princess, which makes me special even if only to Him. Everything belongs to Him so when my life is over, the race has been run, and I cross the finish line, I have a pretty hefty inheritance coming my way.
     I did not wake up this morning psychologically scarred because there is now a number 4 starting my age instead of a 3.I do not look back on my first 39 years and wish I had done anything differently or better. I am proud of who I am . I am the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, and child of God that I can be. There are a few things that I want to accomplish before my next birthday , we'll see how that goes. I am thankful for my first 40 years and I am ready for ever how many more God chooses to give me.